It was while I was living in the lifestyle that Jesus pursued me, He healed me, He changed me, and He called me out of that life into one with Him. Now my life is free of all of those things mentioned above. I am married have five children and continue to love and trust Him. He has taken me places that I would never have choosen and they have always benefit me.

A couple thoughts for all who replied (again I'm trying to avoid being judgmental here while still referring to your personal stories and faith) :
-I'm actually straight, Jen

-(to Randy) Obviously, neither of us can prove the existence or non-existence of god to one another. I only meant to suggest that an atheistic interpretation of the assertions made in the article might be that you are only successful in as much as you follow God's path, and if God doesn't exist than you can pretend to be successful but can never actually achieve success (whatever "success" may be, and I apologize for the assumption that it meant "curing gayness" because clearly it doesn't). Obviously, i'm not trying to convince anyone that my worldview is correct, but only that it exists and might interpret your version of "success" this way.

-The more interesting question (if we're going to get into it, and I must say I'm a little hesitant to do so) is whether or not what you are doing is indeed "a negative thing," not only for those you are working with but for our society as a whole. I would argue that the answer is not so cut and dry. “Questioning homosexuality” is one thing but calling it a “psychological problem” (from the “ex-gays?” book blurb) might be really hurtful to an individual and also to our greater society's tolerance of the gay community. You may not see this as a problem because perhaps you think in an ideal world an open, practicing gay community wouldn't exist. But I'm guessing your program isn't in favor of forced therapy of “out” homosexuals, which is often what our society requires of people with severe “psychological problems.” Again, the question probably comes down to world view, if God exists, and if the bible is the word of God, and if your interpretation that it truly prohibits homosexuality is correct, then perhaps what you are doing is positive. But let's say hypothetically those things aren't true. Then perhaps by telling people (and telling yourself for that matter) that they have a psychological deficiency instead of accepting them for the person they are and have always been, you are in fact doing something negative. The dead-end issue is that you believe without a doubt in the truth of those 3 “ifs,” thus my argument ends there and I accept that, but perhaps it's useful to see how someone of an atheistic perspective might view the positive and negative aspects of said therapy.

-As far as personal “freedom” goes, that's a very malleable word right now. After all, part of the pretext of going to Iraq was, and is, that we were bringing them “freedom.” While, the term freedom can certainly be subjective I think it's important to differentiate between actual, literal freedom and the usage of “freedom” as a vague way of equivocating forced conformity. So, when you say by gaining control over your momentary temptations (I would call these sexual desires) and lifting the limitations being “gay” brought with it you gained “freedom” I would just ask what kind of freedom you mean. It sounds like you mean the freedom to love/follow Jesus Christ as a whole person no matter what, but I would suggest that in a different world, one where homosexuality was accepted by the church, and society at large, you might have done this without feeling to need to “choose” to ignore your desires. I hope this doesn't all sound ridiculously presumptuous, I'm just trying to respond to your personal testimony, and I am not about to say that your path hasn't made you happy, who am I to say that, but to say that it has given you freedom to me is problematic. Let's say, for example, a child who is being bullied about his haircut goes and cuts his hair and the bullying stops. You could say he just gained “freedom” from the bullying, but is that really freedom? You might say an obese person learning to suppress a desire for food could provide “freedom” but what if the person was actually normal weight and the world around them had convinced them that they needed to lose weight? Would hunger suppression in that case still be “freedom”? I guess the point I'm trying to make (perhaps sloppily) is that the lack of freedom created by the desires you were born with (in my opinion sexual desire is not learned or chosen) might actually be the result of an environment that limits you, as opposed to limitations you brought on yourself. If you could have homosexual desires, but at the same time be treated as an entirely normal person, who didn't have to subscribe to some sort of label like “gay”, who could freely love/follow Christ, those desires would cease to be a limitation. From my perspective, the limiting factor was the culture within which you existed, and ironically, by helping others to become equally “free” you are reinforcing this culture.

Wow – some challenging questions and comments based on the guest post I wrote. I thought I’d post a reply to try to tie together a few themes and riff some on what I understand as “success” for those who follow Christ.

If I were using a bit more rustic bumper-sticker theology, then when it comes to talking about “success,” I’d suggest that what we really want when it comes to any life-dominating issue is: “Snap, Zap, the end of the Crap.” We want to hurry up so we get relief from the anguish caused by this concern. Instead, the reality is more like “Slow Mo to get to the Goal.” We move gradually from specific points of choosing toward an expanded process of changing. Here’s what I mean.

For those who believe same-sex desires go against God’s design, then same-sex behaviors are an issue of MORALITY. Moral issues are absolutes. Either we obey or disobey. So, giving in mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and/or physically to same-sex desires is sin – it’s a manifestation of our brokenness. (And everybody has areas of brokenness where our human nature goes against God’s design in one way or another.)

From a Christian perspective, if we willfully continue on in areas of sin, we’re fighting against God’s will to take us to MATURITY. Maturity is relative. We are more or less mature overall, and may show relatively mature choices and behaviors in some specific areas of our life, and not in others. So maturity is both an issue of breadth and depth, covering all of life and to the deepest levels.

When we define “success,” it should be about both morality and maturity. These two are definitely related. Can anyone who lives in immorality become fully mature? For instance, say the issue under scrutiny weren’t same-sex behavior but constant lying, or stealing, or contempt – or anything in the I-used-to-be-but-I’m-not-anymore list found in 1 Corinthians 6:9-11. Would someone practicing those sins be considered mature? No. A consistently immoral person is not mature. Said in reverse, a consistently mature person is not immoral. Our points of obedience – choosing right instead of wrong on what God says are moral imperatives – lead us into and through a process of overcoming and developing righteous character.

Persevering is painful. It costs us, because we cannot do what we want. But then, as those belonging to Christ, we gave up “our right to unrighteousness” when we came to Him. It seems to me that when we begin our journey toward freedom from an unwanted same-sex orientation, many or most points of choosing the moral route by resisting sin is an agony. Over time, we mature and the process of choosing morality becomes more consistent and, often, the agony lifts – though God gives no guarantees that we will experience less temptation, only that He will be sufficient for helping us resist. The more fully we mature, the more freedom we find to discover God’s original design for us in our core humanity, and as people of both gender and sexuality. And so, interwoven morality and maturity is “success.”

And there you have it … and hope that is of some additional help in sorting through the definition of "success."

All I can say is I'm part of the success rate. I sat in "The Harbor," a gay bar in Cupertino, California, 36 years ago and prayed that God would get me out of that life. And now all these years later, I'm a blessed man, with a wife of 34 years, three grown kids and four grandkids. I shudder to think of my life, had God not intervened. No doubt I'd be long dead.