Over the years, Exodus spokespeople have done many interviews. We appreciate media attention from both the Christian and secular outlets and will do interviews with gratitude that the message of sexual redemption is getting out there.
However, there are rare times when we simply have to say no. For example, a shock jock‘s producer once invited me on his show. This particular show made fun of the handicapped, objectified women degraded men and exploited and celebrated seriously debased humor for hours a day every day. While I appreciate the producer’s integrity of not trying to trick us on to the show (unlike another show … different story for a different time) I knew that they were only inviting me to make a circus out of my testimony, a joke out of my beliefs and mock things I hold dear.
Is it any wonder I respectfully said no?
Other opportunities have come up through the years where reporters, from less than reputable print or other media outlets, with a history of mocking Christians and or direct attacks on those who have a Christian post-gay story will call us looking for a provocative angle to a liberal pro-gay ideologically driven story.
Do they think we don’t know how to google?
Some will want us to recruit a bunch of people they can interview to later skewer and mischaracterize in some snarky piece that will spread their circulation and generate more sex massage service ad revenue.
When we don’t participate, inevitably, some reporters will solipsistically claim, because they aren’t getting the results they wanted, that “ex-gays” do not exist. Somehow, we don’t exist because we don’t want to participate in the derision of our testimonies and lives. Apparently a 35 year old movement of 230+ member agencies evaporates because a reporter can’t seem to see that we don’t think it’s ok to invite others to be publicly humiliated.
Regardless of that, the point of living a post-gay life is to no longer be confined by gay ideology. I don’t identify as “ex-gay.” I don’t want to belong to or establish an “ex-gay community.” I find the idea of that identity and common unity (community) just as limiting as when I identified as gay and with gay culture. My post-gay journey is as a man of God who abides in the Christian community. My sexuality no longer makes me “terminally unique” or a constant outsider. I do this because I believe I am called to do this. Others on a post-gay journey live outside of the context of “gay” altogether.
They aren’t doing interviews because they have moved on and more power to them. If you aren’t called to do this type of ministry … why should you invite this type of public misery into your life?
Exodus has been around for 35 years, I have been on my post-gay journey for 17 years, without the mainstream media’s blessing.
We are here, we are still not gay, whether we interview with a media outlet or not.
Even so, we are increasingly called upon for interviews and we can be encouraged by the increasing number of reporters willing to present our lives fairly and accurately.
About Randy Thomas
Hi, Randy. I think what my pastor told me last week may be pertinent here. He said "homosexual" is an adjective, not a noun. In addition, after hearing your testimony and what you have been delivered from and for how long that has been–over 17 years–I find that it can only be spiritual blindness that would cause another person who heard the same story to doubt that God in Christ did not orchestrate that transformation and continues to guide you daily. You are a walking miracle of God's grace and love, my friend! Rarely, has anyone's life story affected me as yours has, and I so appreciate how you have encouraged, challenged, and spurred me on in this journey.
Thanks again for your encouragement … it's only by God's grace and mercy. I have said often, throughout the years that a huge chasm lies between the pro-gay folks and conservative Christianity on what homosexuality is. The pro-gay liberal ideologues or gay affirming conservatives believe that being gay is an innate identity whereas conservative Christians who hold a redemptive perspective see homosexuality as a condition or as you put … an adjective … describing a temptation or behavior to steward but not an innate identity to embrace.
That's a big difference.
Well said Randy.
" Why should you invite this type of public misery into your life?"
Very good point there and I am so thankful for the many who have gone on and paved the way at the expense of their own reputation that a person like me looking for an alternative to homosexuality might find that alternative, embrace that alternative, and to actually live it and have that become a reality in my life.
In my journey the majority of the people who have been my greatest supporters in my faith and inner-healing journey have been very straight folk who know nothing about homosexuality. However, they know a great deal about inner-healing and deliverance. The people who have been my greatest supporters have not been among those with a Post Gay story although I know quite a few and I am in contact with a few on a regular basis. The only thing is, we come together and support each other for a season during ministry and will socialize at times in the same church social gatherings because some of us even attend the same church. We do church, we socialize within the context of church, we attend meetings together in the context of ministry and from a person on the outside looking in one would never guess that quite a few of us are living out a Post Gay testimony. But hey, folks will still be convinced that it just can't be possible for change and not dare to look at the mystery of such a healing where people can leave behind homosexuality to the extent that others may never know unless the story is told. And it's simple because the journey is towards healthy and whole heterosexuality so is it any wonder why people are left to wonder where the exclusive ex-gay community is? And YES, it is a wonder and God is at the center of such a wonder and awe that He can do such a work in any individual persons life if that person really truly wants it.
Hi Sarah. It's good to see you. Thank you for commenting.
what came to my mind was the scripture that says, Don't cast your pearls before swine. The bible is very clear when it says the reason they are so ignorant is because their eyes are closed. I'm sure you are faced with many challenges and it's very wise of you to heed Christ being subject to their playground. "The proof is in the pudding", is what my mom says, Your life of love and remaining in Him, is all we are required to do. I pray the Lord continues to open doors of opportunity for you to share God's story of bring His son home. Blessing to you!
Well, that makes sense. I for one don't worry about who the "swine" are. I just don't believe the old axiom of "all press is good press, even bad press is good press." <–That's just not true.
That elusive ex-gay community doesn't exist because we all feel like you do, or do eventually when we become healthier. We don't want to be a part of a community based upon our sexuality. We have learned the hard way that forming a community based on our sexuality is MOST unhealthy and even unBiblical. While at the beginning of our journey out of homosexuality we may join a support group and minister to one another as Sarah said, we don't ever form a community. Our community is our church. You'll be hard pressed to find any kind of 'ex-gay community', but it's very likely you'll find someone who has left or is leaving homosexuality in the next pew.
VERY good.
That is exactly what I was trying to say. I'm always a story teller but I'm challenged to find words to express things as well organized as this right here. You've added beautifully.
I agree with Randy, it is very good.
…about "ex-gay communities." In the early 90's I connected with a so called "Christian ex-gay" group that would get together for fellowship, bible study, etc. At first it was exciting to be with a group that was familiar with the same pain, but something was off balance. The group eventually disintegrated. Some went back to the old life, some even fell into temptation there within the group. I left burnt once more and angry for being so naive and eventually went back to the gay world falling in deeper than before.
Thank God for his mercy and hearing the quiet cry of my heart. 7 years ago I repented and my life changed dramatically. I reluctantly began participating at a church. Hopefully learning the lesson and this time not completely surrounding myself comfortably with guys who have the same weakness. I didn't really understand the importance of being grafted into the body of Christ back then after all the body represented pain, rejection and mistrust. To be honest, I still grapple relationship issues because there are not many who have an open door to discuss these matters with, so I keep walking it out in hope. God is faithful and good.