I’m always curious to see what people are saying about Exodus and as the PR person, I’m pretty sure there’s something in my job description about that too. I’ve heard some winners in the years I’ve spent working on and around this subject. Hmm . let’s see. According to some, Exodus believes in inhumane psychiatry that harkens back to the Dark Ages. Others say we peddle nonsensical, mind-altering remedies to unsuspecting prey that erases any and all attractions. Still others’ seem to think we hold mysterious camps with all the security measures of the FBI training facility in Quantico – just in case anyone would think of escaping. Of course, none of that is remotely true and all of it is wholly laughable, but it is amazing how hearsay begats rumors and rumors begat hard news. So, here’s the 411 on the top myths about Exodus International to set the record straight (no pun intended):
THE CURE . . . and I don’t mean the 80′s band:
If I had a dollar for every time I’ve heard the words, “Exodus International” and “religious group that claims to cure gays” in a sentence I’d be rich . . . and in Tahiti right now. Seriously, though, the Bible teaches that the only form of sexual expression God intended for His creation is between a man and woman married to one another. All else, heterosexual or homosexual, falls outside of His plan and constitutes as sin. That said, not many wake up one morning, down their coffee and decide to be gay. As complex human beings, sexual attractions develop for many known and unknown reasons and no one chooses those, but as sexual beings, we all make decisions about how to express ourselves. For those who consider the Bible to be life-giving truth, homosexual attractions and the desire to act on them are at odds with the desire to live a life that reflects the Christian faith and often results in moral tension. We know, though, that pursuing a relationship with God over these attractions, won’t always make the feelings go away. They may stay the same, lessen or possibly shift towards the opposite sex. That’s not the point. The point is to pursue a life beyond attractions, feelings and societal labels that is guided and defined by Jesus Christ and truth of Scripture. And for the record, living with conflicted desires is not the same as living a life dominated by them! So, to sum up, we don’t believe there is a “cure” for homosexuality, adultery, arrogance, gossip or any other sin. There is, however, Jesus who paid the price for it all when He died on the cross. Then there is the daily, sometimes moment-by-moment, decision to live a life congruent with His teaching.
AVERSION, I mean CONVERSION THERAPY:
“So, how does it work, conversion therapy, I mean?” is an all-too-common question most Exodus staffers are asked on a routine basis. Truthfully, most of us don’t know. Furthermore, most of us don’t know anyone who has actually undergone this type of therapy. It’s only used by a handful of professionals, but for some reason, folks seem to think that it’s the primary function of Exodus. It’s not. “Reparative or conversion therapy” is a counseling method used in addressing unwanted same-sex attraction to repair the damage of past relationships that may have contributed to its initial development. In general, we think every professional and their client ought to be able to determine the methods and options most helpful in accomplishing their joint goals, including this one, but it isn’t the sole approach used, nor is it essential. That’s because the decision to leave a gay identity behind isn’t necessarily about one method, one program, one counseling approach our even about becoming straight. It’s about pursuing a Christ-centered identity rooted in God’s definition of us as individuals.
U.S.S. PRAY THE GAY AWAY:
Prayer is certainly an important part of a Christian’s life, but it’s not a magic formula. If you find one let us know. J This mantra ignorantly dismisses the complicated issues that often underlie attractions and deeper still – identity. As I said before, we don’t think many, if any, wake up one morning, down their coffee and decide to be gay. Sexual attractions develop for many known and unknown reasons and no one chooses those. As complex individuals, we must also take into account the way others hurt us and the way we hurt ourselves. For many who contact Exodus, hurt has become a familiar, but unwelcome fixture in life. Talking to God about these things is part of a dynamic relationship with Him, but it doesn’t always change the fact that dealing with it is just plain hard work.
CAMP GAYBEGONE:
As for those mysterious gay-to-straight “boot camps,” they don’t exist. And neither do any other Exodus camps – mosquito infested or otherwise. We do have an annual conference and some local ones too – held at churches, conference centers and Christian college campuses -just like other Christian conferences, though I’ll freely admit that the content is eye-poppingly unlike most other Christian conferences. We aren’t interested in bludgeoning others with our big black Bibles or our views. Truth be told, we can barely keep up with the 300,000 calls and e-mails we get every year from those who do want our input.
Exodus International doesn’t exist to make gay people straight, promote a formula for “success,” to make money or even to pass legislation. We exist to help others live a life that reflects the Christian faith. We’ve found that the opposite of homosexuality is most certainly not heterosexuality. It is holiness. It is loving God and being loved by Him. It is accepting His identity for us, instead of everyone else’s. But those things don’t often make headlines and I suspect that, unfortunately, we’ll continue to see more crazy things out there churning around in the rumor mill.
About Julie Neils
Julie that was amazing. I couldn't agree more.
Julie that was amazing. I couldn't agree more.
Well done, Julie!!
Well done, Julie!!
Very Good!!!
Very Good!!!
Love this Julie!!
me too Julie
Love this Julie!!
me too Julie
Well .. I'd have to say that this one to date has been the most interesting blog post I have read!
Well … thanks a lot! :p
Just kidding, I love this post. Julie is a great writer.
Well .. I'd have to say that this one to date has been the most interesting blog post I have read!
Well … thanks a lot! :p
Just kidding, I love this post. Julie is a great writer.
Although I am really encouraged and happy to read this article, and very pleased to have a clarification about Exodus' goals and purpose, I do think that some statements made by some Exodus ministries, or some individuals affiliated with Exodus over the years, have contributed to the misconceptions that many people have about the organization. I don't think it's all hearsay, rumor, or myth.
I mean, if I look at the testimonies of the people at Clean Heart Ministries in Charlotte, NC (the one nearest to me), I see plenty of phrases such as “freedom from homosexuality” or “former homosexual.” Don't you think that gives the impression to casual observers that their goal is, at least in part, to help people go from gay to straight?
Jay, it seems like I've explained this to you a lot over the years … and apparently I am not doing a good job … so I'll try again.
The post says:
We do believe that orientation can possibly change, that's why we say change is *possible* … not *probable.* Some people, along with their pursuit of Christ first, will choose to question and pursue that possibility. And for some, they will find success in actually finding their orientation changing or shifting. Mine has dramatically shifted toward the opposite sex. I am glad I had an open mind even though I couldn't possibly imagine that possibility.
But, as I have always said, success isn't dependent on orientation change … it's being content in Christ regardless of circumstance living our lives congruent with our faith.
I also believe that freedom from homosexuality doesn't mean we are free from temptation. If Christ was tempted … we will be too. The freedom is in not having my life determined by or my identity defined by that temptation. Freedom is a life lived beyond that temptation and not leading me to do behaviors I ultimately don't want to do or have in my life.
Our Member ministries are autonomous. We can suggest, train those wanting training, question, hold accountable and yes … even disagree .. but they are ultimately responsible for what they say and do not represent Exodus itself unless it is overtly stated otherwise.
I am fully aware others will unfairly characterize a whole movement by the statements they don't like (for whatever reason) but … that's part of the whole process. We have 230+ Member Agencies with a wide variety of opinion and ways of communicating.
Let me know what Clean Heart tells you after you ask them what they mean. I would imagine they would agree with everything in this post. I could be wrong but … that's my guess.
OH … and “change is possible” in much much much more than sexual orientation. Everything about my life has changed on this post-gay journey.
My favorite part, right here: We’ve found that the opposite of homosexuality is most certainly not heterosexuality. It is holiness. It is loving God and being loved by Him. It is accepting His identity for us, instead of everyone else’s. Well said, very well said.
Randy, I understand what you mean. However, I'm involved in this. I'm a Christian. I “get it,” so to speak. I don't use this kind of terminology to describe my own walk (even though I think our walks are more similar than either of us usually admits) but I understand what you're saying.
However, if a non-Christian or a casual observer sees a phrase like “former homosexual” and it isn't followed by that long and nuanced explanation that you just gave me, what are they likely to think? To say that one is no longer homosexual implies that one is now heterosexual. And if the only testimonies presented are of people who identify this way, then it's understandable when people are unclear about Exodus' purpose. Like I said, I like the things that Julie has said here. I just don't think it's fair for her to say that Exodus has never done anything to give off these wrong impressions, which is what she was implying. If, like you said, member ministries that fly under the Exodus banner can have disagreeing views, then isn't it pretty expected that false impressions will occur when presenting Exodus to the general public?
A lot of this comes down, not to our faith, but to the terminology we use. I haven't experienced orientation change, just like I know many, many people involved with Exodus haven't. At the same time, unlike many of them, I don't feel comfortable calling myself a “former homosexual,” nor do I want to say I'm “free from homosexuality,” because I don't want to give people the impression that I'm into women all of a sudden. This doesn't mean that I'm not free, but my freedom is in Christ. It's in the fact that I have escaped the punishment that my sins earned thanks to the cross. It's in my ability to be obedient to His commands even though my orientation — my human orientation, not just my sexual one — is against Him (but will no longer be once He returns). I'm sure you don't disagree, and that's the point. Somehow Christians who deal with these issues need to come to a consistent set of terminology about the whole thing, or false impressions and confusion will continue.
Thanks for sharing your opinion Jay.
Yeah, I love that part of the post too. I first heard a guy named Tim Wilkins use that phrase so eloquently many moons ago.
Totally with Kara on the loving the opposite to homosexuality isn't heterosexuality, it's holiness. I once read that heterosexuality is as far away from God's ideal for humanity as homosexuality. For me, holiness is missing big time in some parts of the UK church. I – and other celibate gay/SSA Christians are shocked at what the heterosexuals in church under the age of 60 get up to and think is acceptable, as single, dating/committed couples/engaged couples and married people. And sadly, it's accepted by church leaders, as 'culture', not sin. Like I've said before, it's the SSAs who are leading the call for holiness in some areas of the UK church, along with other amazing peeps like Pete Grieg. All through the Bible, God is looking at the human heart, the individual's heart, and how people change in heart/holiness as they grow closer to Him, and therefore their behaviour changes, such as slavery lessened and behaviour towards slave improved and owners treated slaves as brothers, rather than lesser forms of life, and polygamy ceased in the people who encountered God; behaviours that were totally accepted in those societies at those times. Exodus, and TfT and LinC etc here in Europe, have a lot to say to the whole church about holiness and sexuality matters, as well as other areas of life.
As a half-Scot, I wish the pictures of Nessie were for real, but never mind!
I just now got around to reading this post. I also read all the comments and reply's. I would just like to add my 2 cents.
I can see how there is much confusion over this issue. Since I have only recently (within the last 2 years) been broadening my understanding of this issue in the larger picture I have often times portrayed the issue based upon my own experience. My personal experience has demonstrated that orientation change is not only possible but also very complete. Speaking from my own personal experience I have often said that it has much more to do with choice than anything else. Not that the feelings were chosen but that I have often times made choices, usually as an act of self protection, that have added to my desire to move towards women. I somewhere in my past decided that being feminine was a weakness thus I choose to downplay that part of me and worked on being very “strong.” This was intentional on my part. I did not want to be a victim of some mans lust. Thus if I was strong I would have more control over that. I did not want to be a man, I just did not want to be victimized.
As I have grown in dealing with this issue publicly I have moved to a broader understanding of addressing the issue because my personal experience is not the same as others. So today I would be more apt to say that there is freedom from same sex attraction, and yes I agree that is about holiness, at the same time it can mean change in orientation is possible, knowing that I cannot guarantee anyone's out come in following Christ.
So it would not surprise me for some people to become disillusioned about the change possible. They must be committed to Him and be willing for Him to determine their journey for them and I must trust Jesus for their journey as well as for mine.
I am also not an expert on Exodus as a ministry and their history, etc. Thus I could have easily miss represented them at some points and time prior to the last two years. I would not have done this intentionally but out of ignorance.
So the blog is wholly appropriate and should be addressed periodically so that the process of education and understanding can continue.
Good job Julie
Good article Julie! And timely as well. Thank you for helping us get the truth out to refute the confusion.
Thank you Richard! Great to stand with you in His service!
Catherine- So great to hear what God is doing all over the world. I kind of wish Nessie were real too- sure would have made studying the “water habitat” part of Science more interesting!
Thank you for sharing a part of your story. And as for “mis-representing” Exodus, if you are speaking on your own behalf …nothing to worry about. If you accidentally spoke on Exodus' behalf … don't worry about it, if there is a potential disagreement we would work it through.
One of the constant “lines” we have to walk is speaking on behalf of the non-profit 501(c)3 organization itself AND as how it relates to our Member Agencies. As a person representing one of those Members you can speak from your own experience and with wherever your church has released you too on their behalf. If something comes up where someone is seeking you out to answer for Exodus … give Julie and I a ring and we will work it out.
Randy: Both of your responses seem kind of dismissive and defensive towards Jay's comments. What I find peculiar is that neither of your posts actually acknowledges that he has a valid perspective. In fact, he's probably illuminating one of the chief reasons the author of this article is even writing the article — Exodus hasn't managed their image/message well over the years.
I remember looking at the Exodus website a few years ago, and it was all about “gay gone straight” – quite compellingly. I took another look today, and while that's changed, there's still a bit of the same feel.
Perhaps the correct response is, “Thanks for what you're saying, Jay. You're right — some of our taglines and messaging can send mixed signals, and obviously have stirred up some confusion” Then, maybe you could have a chat with the folks at Exodus who handle brand management, marketing, and communications.
As an experienced marketing consultant, I am surprised there's not been more change in the messaging and tag-lining of Exodus communications material. At best, it's mildly confusing. At worst, it's off-putting and misleading.
Thanks for the insight Jay. Thanks for your ear Randy.
Sorry that they seemed that way to you. Jay hasn't given me any reason to be dismissive or defensive. I tried responding and thanked him for his opinion.
Thank you for yours too.
Hi Jay, I am one of those testimonies on Clean Heart’s Web site. I thank you for pointing out that I said “…freed me from homosexuality”. I would like to clarify that statement, and appreciate the opportunity to do it. For me, what “freedom from homosexuality” means is the ability to decide. There was a time in my life when I was “compelled” by my feelings and attractions to act on them. I felt trapped in a life I didn’t “choose “, (i.e. to be homosexually attracted), yet knew it somehow fell short of God’s best. I felt guilt and shame, not because the world told me there was something wrong with me, but because of something inside. For me, I now know it was God pursuing me to be more than just what I felt. It is for freedom that Christ sets us free.
If you read further down my testimony, you see how that manifested in my life.
(I've copied it here for reference. Full testimony at http://www.cleanheart.org)
“The very next day, things began to change. The guilt and shame I had harbored for years was gone. A recurring dream of being raped was gone. Truly, a peace came over me like never before. Although my attractions weren’t gone, there was something new. A peace that brought hope and gave me a reason to get up and look forward to the next day. I became a New Creation in Christ.
God has been faithful to His promise in scripture. He has delivered me from the bondage of my sins. I am His child and am becoming the true woman in Christ that He has always planned for me. I have chosen to follow the one true freedom of Jesus Christ and not the deceptions of Satan in the form of homosexuality. Satan had convinced me that my fight was with my feelings, thoughts, and myself. If I felt it, it must be true. God has shown me THE truth.
Ephesians 6:12,13 “For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.”
Has my life been stress free and perfect since I got saved and began the journey out of homosexuality? No. I am living in a fallen world, but life is the best it’s ever been. God created me with a strong will. It used to be my biggest shortcoming. Now it’s the backbone of my conviction. My life is no longer my own. God is using me to counter the lies of Satan with the truth. I finally understand the truth. I am living the Truth – the truth of God’s salvation and redemption. “
The bondage was broken, and I was no longer a “helpless” person to the whims of my feelings. For that is how I had felt. The bondage of sin was much more than just being gay. Maybe, if the testimony wasn’t on a web site directed toward people with unwanted same sex attractions, then I would have mentioned my myriad of other “issues”, including, but not limited to an inclination to idolizing people and placing them before God. My control issues and a tendency toward finding my value in what I do, not who I am. An arrogance toward thinking since I didn’t get drunk, smoke, or do drugs, I was “better” than those other people who sinned as such. God is working on that one too.
I appreciate the opportunity to clarify. My relationship with Christ and the help I personally received from an Exodus affiliated ministry hasn’t just “freed” me from homosexuality. Instead, it has helped me become a New Creation in ALL areas of my life. Homosexuality being just one of them. I imagine, this journey of Sanctification is one I will be on until Jesus comes back.
Karen
Hi Jay, I am one of the testimonies on Clean Heart’s web site. I thank you for pointing out that I said “…freed me from homosexuality”. I would like to clarify that statement, and appreciate the opportunity to do it. For me, what “freedom from homosexuality” means is the ability to decide. There was a time in my life when I was “compelled” by my feelings and attractions to act on them. I felt trapped in a life I didn’t “choose “, (i.e. to be homosexually attracted), yet knew it somehow fell short of God’s best. I felt guilt and shame, not because the world told me there was something wrong with me, but because of something inside. For me, I now know it was God pursuing me to be more than just what I felt. It is for freedom that Christ sets us free.
If you read further down my testimony, you see how that manifested in my life.
(I've copied the text below for reference, full testimony can be found at http://www.cleanheart.org)
“The very next day, things began to change. The guilt and shame I had harbored for years was gone. A recurring dream of being raped was gone. Truly, a peace came over me like never before. Although my attractions weren’t gone, there was something new. A peace that brought hope and gave me a reason to get up and look forward to the next day. I became a New Creation in Christ.
God has been faithful to His promise in scripture. He has delivered me from the bondage of my sins. I am His child and am becoming the true woman in Christ that He has always planned for me. I have chosen to follow the one true freedom of Jesus Christ and not the deceptions of Satan in the form of homosexuality. Satan had convinced me that my fight was with my feelings, thoughts, and myself. If I felt it, it must be true. God has shown me THE truth.
Ephesians 6:12,13 “For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.”
Has my life been stress free and perfect since I got saved and began the journey out of homosexuality? No. I am living in a fallen world, but life is the best it’s ever been. God created me with a strong will. It used to be my biggest shortcoming. Now it’s the backbone of my conviction. My life is no longer my own. God is using me to counter the lies of Satan with the truth. I finally understand the truth. I am living the Truth – the truth of God’s salvation and redemption. “
The bondage was broken, and I was no longer a “helpless” person to the whims of my feelings. For that is how I felt. The bondage of sin was much more than just being gay. Maybe, if the testimony wasn’t on a web site directed toward people with unwanted same sex attractions, then I would have mentioned my myriad of other “issues”, including, but not limited to an inclination to idolizing other people and placing them before God. My control issues and a tendency toward finding my value in what I do, not who I am. An arrogance toward thinking since I didn’t get drunk, smoke, or do drugs, I was “better” than those other people who sinned as such. God is working on that one too.
I appreciate the opportunity to clarify. My relationship with Christ and the help I personally received from an Exodus affiliated ministry didn't just “free” me from homosexuality. Instead, it helped make me a New Creation in ALL areas of my life. Homosexuality being just one of them. I imagine, this journey of Sanctification is one I will be on until Jesus comes back.
Sincerely, Karen
Hey Karen,
Thank you for the response. I think it all comes down to different experiences and backgrounds. I was never sexually active, and I came to Christ early in my adulthood (right before college, which I'm just finishing now). Because I was raised in a liberal household, the words “gay” and “homosexual” didn't have a bad connotation. I also never was involved in an actively gay lifestyle, so I never attached those words to any kind of pain or heartbreak, either (which I know many people have). Growing up, “gay” and “homosexual” were just words that described someone who has same-sex attractions, and nothing more. That's why I currently use those terms to describe myself, even though I am celibate for my faith. Just based on my environment and background, it's easier and it causes less confusion among the people I'm around.
I do respect others who choose different terms, of course, and I also realize that different terms are for different seasons. A good friend of mine (an ex-lesbian in Ohio with a husband and daughter) recently wrote a post about how she no longer identifies as “ex-gay” and is debating whether to call herself “bisexual” or “post-gay” (even though her Christian beliefs haven't really changed since her Exodus days). http://disputedmutability.wordpress.com/
So obviously, our secondary identities (all the ones that are below our primary identity in Christ) are in a state of flux. I just think it's important that when we give our testimonies, we're honest. Even though I'm a gay celibate I don't doubt that in SOME people (though certainly not all) orientation change may occur (I actually stayed with Rusty and Emily from Clean Heart this past weekend, and I think they're delightful people). And even though you no longer identify as gay, you are honest in saying that “freedom from homosexuality” doesn't promise orientation change, but instead the ability to decide how one is going to behave. That's a good thing. I just know too many people who feel they were promised orientation change and then went back to living the gay lifestyle when they got discouraged, and I can see where they felt mislead by some of the terminology the ministries they were involved in used, because it was misleading to me too when I first started. I just want struggling people to be encouraged by folks at Exodus that this struggle is worth it, even if orientation change and marriage don't happen. Neither of those should be the goal nor should they be promoted as “side-effects” of the goal, because God really doesn't have the same things in store for all people. And based on your comments here, I trust that you're aware of that, so thank you.