Charisma Magazine published an article I wrote called Of Picket Lines, Politics and People:
An e-mail from an old college friend got me thinking. She had reconnected with a high school classmate on FaceBook and her friend, a passionate, self-proclaimed gay rights advocate, was constantly posting statements and articles on the subject for all to see. My friend, knowing that I work with a ministry that helps those dealing with unwanted same-sex attraction, asked, “How, in your opinion, do you even begin to talk to someone like this? Obviously she doesn’t have the same worldview … so what talking points would even register with her?”
My initial thought was, “Maybe none.” As I prayed about how to respond, God reminded me of two incidents that changed my own thinking and more importantly, my heart. Some years ago, I was working for a Christian ministry that was hosting a conference on biblical sexuality. Sounds somewhat innocuous, but as it turns out saying that people can find freedom from a life dominated by same-sex attraction through Jesus is rather controversial. The press heavily covered the event and so news of a protest from the gay community came as no surprise. The day of the conference arrived and so did a noisy group of around 200 young people carrying signs and chanting through a bullhorn, “Hey, hey, ho, ho, homophobia’s got to go” and “Two, four, six, eight, stop the lies and stop the hate.” As the day wore on and the chanting subsided, I pushed past my fear and walked up to a group of young people at the picket line. I had no idea what I was going to say or do. My head was reeling with arguments and sound bites to defend biblical truth to these poor, misguided souls.
Looking every bit the straight-laced, non-denominational conservative that I was, I began to ask questions about their lives. “Do you go to college? What’s your major? Where are you from? Do you like living here?” Though suspicious, they humored me and responded. Eventually, one 20-something student and I began to connect. I sensed a lost yet hungry look in his eyes as he told me about the classes he was taking and the goals he had for his life. We talked for quite awhile and I still wanted to know more, but the group leader yelled through the bullhorn that it was time to move on and he shuffled past me in compliance and reticence. I was truly sad to see him go. I’ve thought of him many times since then and wonder where he is now. For a moment, God allowed me to see this young man through His eyes. And in that moment, while my body was on one side of the picket line, my heart was most certainly on the other.
… Click here to read the rest of the story on Charisma’s website.
Please let me know what you think about the article.
About Julie Neils
It’s so funny how we think we have the power to change the world. We think we can sway one man’s thoughts the way we want. To influence others to come to our way of thinking. We think with all of our wisdom and counsel we can change the path of an individual with theology and persuasion, if only we have enough faith or if we have enough passion. God does want us to change the world, but not in the way our human minds think. I think what you did for this young boy meant more to him than any scripture or theology you could have debated with him. He saw that you were a real human being with an actual interest in him. If people don’t think we really care for them why would they let us influence them or speak into their lives? I believe we can change the world, but with love. That’s what I see you doing here Randy. Loving someone who thought you hated them. =)
“And not these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.” 1Cor. 13:13
Hi John, thank you for your thoughtful comment but this post and article is by Julie Neils
.
Ummmm.. oops. hehe. Good job Julie!
John- Thank you so much for your kind encouragement and for your valuable input on loving people and letting God change them! Thanks again! – Julie
Julie,
I was one of those former gay men who would stand and argue with Christians even though they were trying to be kind to me by telling me that Jeus loved me. I refused to listen and it led to 20 years of self-destruction. I wasted 20 years of my life living in a lifestyle that was full of acts that I won’t even begin to speak of because i’m too ashamed to admit that I was sexually addicted. I finally decided to end this life of torture, hate, envy, pride, and selfishness for a life of love, peace, and understanding back in May of 2009. I have decided to let the Lord lead me into the ways that people can change, but they need to allow the Lord to help them change. I was one of them that thought I would never change, but i’m changing. I have more peace in my life and I know that Jesus was sent to die for me because he didn’t want to lose a person like myself and I am eternally grateful for his sacrifice. I still tell others including gay men that Jesus loves them and truly cares.
Troy- Thank you for having the courage to share your heart and your story here. I was so encouraged to hear what God has done in your heart and life. The verse below is one of my favorites that I’ve been thinking of all today. I am praying that God will help me to grasp and demonstrate the immensity of His love for us. Thank you again for sharing your heart! – Julie
“And may you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love is. May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God.” – Ephesians 3:18,19
It’s interesting to read this piece. I’ve read similar accounts from the perspectives of the protesters at some of these events. They, too, describe “lost yet hungry looks” in the eyes of the ex-gays they meet. Will there ever be any good dialogue if both sides see the other as repressed, misguided, or lost? Many actively gay people, my ex-boyfriend especially, have proved invaluable in helping me live out my own chastity and commitment to Christ. Even though I’m clear in that I believe homosexual behavior is a sin, I have never been disrespected or hated by my actively gay friends because I’ve decided to abstain from such behavior. Their support is, to me, just as valuable as the Christian men and women I know who struggle with same-sex attraction.
So I do have to wonder, really, if a lot of these protests could be avoided if we just got to know the other people, without prejudice. The protesters shouldn’t judge ex-gays for being repressed or hateful. Nor should ex-gays judge the protesters by assuming they are lost and misguided. Everyone is trying to figure out what is best. We can show them Christ, but I don’t think it’s right for us to act like we’re any more stable, happy, or knowledgeable than they are. That can come across as condescending, and in many ways it’s not even true.