Comments on: A Changed Life, A Changed Man – Testimony of Mike Goeke

By: Pianomankugie

Pianomankugie — Sat, 29 May 2010 05:41:11 +0000

Trey, I only know that whatever happens or doesn’t happen, none of it changes God’s love for you, your wife, and your son. I have no answer for your situation. But please continue to keep on trusting God no matter what. That doesn’t make sense humanly speaking, does it. Who knows? I believe God’s loving grace is powerful enough to make even a mixed orientation marriage work. That sounds crazy doesn’t it. I know God wants to keep me dependent on Him, and He knows what it takes to accomplish that. He told me that I have the problems I have because if He had given me a drug dependency problem instead (that I think would be easier to deal with) that it would have destroyed me, and that He wants me to be dependent on Him and not to be destroyed. I’m not yet to the point of boasting in my weakness and being grateful for it like the Apostle Paul, but I’m fairly sure I’m being moved in that direction. It’s like He’s creating a thankful heart in me rather than allowing a bitter heart, and I like the sound of that. Kind of like, “God, whatever You do or don’t do, I’m not going to let it stop me from delighting in You.” Twenty years ago I don’t think I could have even considered that. But I want to thank you for your post; now people can pray for you and they wouldn’t have been able to if you hadn’t posted. You are an encouragement because You’re trusting God when it doesn’t make sense!

By: Pianomankugie

Pianomankugie — Sat, 29 May 2010 05:41:00 +0000

By: Trey

Trey — Fri, 07 May 2010 15:52:57 +0000

Thanks for the reply, Cori. Not granting freedom the first time we pray and not granting it after 20 years (or 30 in the case of your husband) are two vastly different things. Like Paul’s thorn, some things are never taken away…and it has nothing to do with God tarrying and everything to do with who God is. The real question is not why God doesn’t take it away, but why was it given in the first place. Like Paul’s thorn (and based on one’s understanding of God, Scripture, and what’s sinful), it may indeed be a battle meant to be fought over one’s entire life. On the other hand, it may be a \difference\ or \weakness\ that one is to accept and make the best of (which in this case would mean either celibacy or a committed, monogamous partnership).

The thing that upsets me about Mike’s story and Exodus’ mission, is the subtext that exists stating that everyone can and should be \healed\ of their homosexuality. Not everyone will be. Jesus didn’t heal everyone. And it’s a false hope for some. That doesn’t mean that you rule out God’s ability to heal altogether, but just because one is changed doesn’t mean all should and can be. Saying so is like praying for a sick person and then, when they’re not healed, blaming it on their lack of faith. What a harmful and destructive mentality…it leaves the sick person hopeless. And this is what I was getting at back in December…that is how I felt even as I read your testimony. This is why there are scores of testimonies online of people who have been damaged by ex-gay teaching…including my own. In order to avert this, I think the ex-gay industry needs to change. State that this is how they understand Scripture but humbly admit that they may be wrong, that you can still be a Christian and be gay, that – if you can’t or don’t change – monogamy is preferable to promiscuity, but if you want to try and change through healing…we’re here for that, too. It doesn’t mean an end to ex-gay ministry…it just allows room for the \un-healed\ to not be cast further outside the camp. For although that is indeed the message of the OT, that is not the message of Jesus.

By: Trey

Trey — Fri, 07 May 2010 15:52:00 +0000

Thanks for the reply, Cori. Not granting freedom the first time we pray and not granting it after 20 years (or 30 in the case of your husband) are two vastly different things. Like Paul’s thorn, some things are never taken away…and it has nothing to do with God tarrying and everything to do with who God is. The real question is not why God doesn’t take it away, but why was it given in the first place. Like Paul’s thorn (and based on one’s understanding of God, Scripture, and what’s sinful), it may indeed be a battle meant to be fought over one’s entire life. On the other hand, it may be a difference or weakness that one is to accept and make the best of (which in this case would mean either celibacy or a committed, monogamous partnership).

The thing that upsets me about Mike’s story and Exodus’ mission, is the subtext that exists stating that everyone can and should be healed of their homosexuality. Not everyone will be. Jesus didn’t heal everyone. And it’s a false hope for some. That doesn’t mean that you rule out God’s ability to heal altogether, but just because one is changed doesn’t mean all should and can be. Saying so is like praying for a sick person and then, when they’re not healed, blaming it on their lack of faith. What a harmful and destructive mentality…it leaves the sick person hopeless. And this is what I was getting at back in December…that is how I felt even as I read your testimony. This is why there are scores of testimonies online of people who have been damaged by ex-gay teaching…including my own. In order to avert this, I think the ex-gay industry needs to change. State that this is how they understand Scripture but humbly admit that they may be wrong, that you can still be a Christian and be gay, that – if you can’t or don’t change – monogamy is preferable to promiscuity, but if you want to try and change through healing…we’re here for that, too. It doesn’t mean an end to ex-gay ministry…it just allows room for the un-healed to not be cast further outside the camp. For although that is indeed the message of the OT, that is not the message of Jesus.

By: Cori

Cori — Fri, 07 May 2010 13:58:31 +0000

Trey –

It’s months after you wrote your comment, but I hope you still see it. I don’t know why God tarries – I don’t know why the first time we pray for freedom it’s not granted immediately. I do know that my husband prayed for decades (more than three) before God revealed the core of his struggle and granted him freedom. We’re still a work in progress, just like Mike & Stephanie are, but we’re making more forward-progress than backward progress.

There IS hope – Jesus is the author, finisher, and perfecter of our faith and there is ALWAYS hope in Him. I don’t want to give you or your wife platitudes, but I know firsthand that there is hope. Don’t give up – keep pressing on and seeking Him. Praying for you today…

By: Cori

Cori — Fri, 07 May 2010 13:58:00 +0000

Trey –

By: Trey

Trey — Tue, 08 Dec 2009 03:59:25 +0000

As a gay Christian who knows of the power of God, this testimony makes me feel hopeless and trapped. Why Mike and not me? 20 years I prayed. I told my wife before we were married of my struggles. It still didn’t work. Now she, my son, and I are all suffering the consequences of trying to make a mixed orientation marriage work. Does anyone have a message of hope for me?

By: Trey

Trey — Tue, 08 Dec 2009 03:59:00 +0000

By: Frank

Frank — Thu, 03 Dec 2009 09:15:16 +0000

Thanks mike for the testimony, it is so encouraging. Thank you for following God and leading by example. God Bless you.

By: Frank

Frank — Thu, 03 Dec 2009 09:15:00 +0000

Thanks mike for the testimony, it is so encouraging. Thank you for following God and leading by example. God Bless you.