Relational Investments Render Earthly Consequences – A Look at Lisa Miller

Back in 1997-1998 I was complaining to some Exodus leaders about their involvement in public policy. They were very kind and heard me out.  But one of them said to me, “Randy, do you know how many times I have defended the gay community in the meetings I go to in Washington DC?”

I looked shocked and haltingly answered, ” … uh … no.”

Then he asked, “Do you know how many bad ideas we have shot down, or tried to prevent, because of how awful and stigmatizing they would be to the gay community and ourselves?”

I hated to admit it but I hadn’t even thought they would be there for that reason as well.  I just thought they went and simply parroted what the ” far right” wanted them to say. Then he went on to say that he was there because he genuinely believed in the issues they addressed.  He believed that public policy afforded more opportunities for tragic consequences for those dealing with same sex attractions.  He explained that with every pro-gay policy that is passed and implemented, the cost of repentance and the potential consequences rise considerably.

I hadn’t thought of that either.  It was so much easier to buy into the false assumption that public policy was somehow outside the realm of ministry in general and Exodus in particular. I felt convicted for wrongly judging him. I thought that I was “moderate” but in reality … I was more judgmental than he was.

I eventually came to a similar conviction of Francis Schaeffer. That conviction is so eloquently expressed in a Christian Manifesto as, “True Spirituality covers all of reality.”  I have been disillusioned with the process the past few years but I haven’t completely given up or bowed out.  I loved public policy as a teen (I was in Youth In Government all four years of High School) and when I used to identify as gay.  I don’t love it now but I know how very vital it is to be informed and engaged in the process.

Regarding my friend’s assertion that public policy raises the cost of repentance consider Lisa Miller.  She entered into a civil union in Vermont with her partner Janet Jenkins.  They decided, as a couple, to artificially inseminate Lisa and she had a daughter they named Isabella.  Shortly after, Lisa decided to pursue a Christian post-gay journey and broke up with Janet.  A custody battle took place that has lasted around nine years and continues today.  Eventually the judge granted custody to Janet because Lisa refused visitation to Janet.  Now Lisa and Isabella are on the run.

Public policy through civil union legislation and the court system facilitated this contract, now broken, between Lisa and Janet.  The decisions they made as a lesbian couple are having consequences today even though they are not together and haven’t been for over almost a decade.

Some are saying that Lisa and Isabella are “victims” of the gay rights agenda but the bottom line is that what is happening now is a direct consequence of what happened the moment they decided to inseminate Lisa.

As I pray about it, all I can see are two women and one little girl who are heartbroken. I know that relational decisions always have future consequences and can negatively impact innocent lives like Isabella’s.

Public policy matters because it affects the public … real people.  And, as this case proves, we are still responsible for our personal relational decisions.  Intimacy is not a commodity to be bartered or option easily discarded.  It is an investment of one’s heart and soul.  These type of investments always have consequences.  That is why God is so specific and clear about His will concerning relationships in the scriptures.

Forgiveness is free to those who have faith.  That said, earthly consequences of relational investments might take the rest of our lives to live out.

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