If you look at the comment counts on our blog you would think that we only get a few sporadic ones from time to time with sudden bursts here and there. Not true. We get a lot actually. The problem is that most of them involve some new way for me to burn in hell. So because of our Comment Policy, a vast majority of those comments never make it through. This blog won’t be hijacked by that type of … discussion.
However, today it seemed a good idea to turn one comment we received overnight into an actual post. The person who left the comment used a fake email and the alias “Happy Lesbian.” The following is her comment (edited by me) and parsed with my responses to different particular points.
Are you people here serious?
Yes.
What do you think is actully wrong wth gays. I think we should try and fix people like you who have so much hate in their hearts and are so judgmental.
The focus of my post-gay journey is not on what is wrong “with gays.” The focus is on Christ and what I believe is necessary to challenge, examine and determine for myself what it means to walk in love, maturity, security and obedience to Him. With freedom of speech, freedom of religious conscience, freedom of assembly and the right to self-determine my own path and identity, I humbly share those opinions and insights with anyone who asks or when an opportunity arises.
There seems to be this belief in the gay community that our (Christians on a post-gay journey) existence is somehow predicated or contextualized as being against them personally. In reality, our life decisions have nothing to do with or in response to those who identify as gay or with gay culture. Sure, there will be moral, spiritual and public policy disagreements. But those disagreements don’t arise out of personal animus. My life’s course is set toward Christ … not running away from you.
And speaking of judgmental … you just judged my heart as being full of hate and needing to be fixed. Truth is, we all make judgments about actions taken or behavior. We cross the line when we judge other people’s hearts.
There is nothing wrong with the homosexual life. I’m sure god would be so proud of you right now. I am made in Gods immage and he loves me for who I am. He created me this way to open up narrowminded people such as yourselfs.
I don’t know that God would be proud of me but I do know He loves me. I do know you do bear the Image of God and He loves you for who you are.
It’s my personal belief that His Mind is much more open than any of us could imagine. Even so, His ways are not our ways and He does exist in the realm of absolutes. He is The Creator. He is Lord. He is The Savior. His views and opinions about us, His creation, don’t have to conform to what we think is right. He sees us for the whole of who we are and not limited to our earthly perspectives and small labels.
He sees beyond our 80+ years on earth to Who He created us to be in light of eternity. He sees us this way always.
When I was gay I was very narrow-minded. I refused to accept anyone who challenged the morality of what I was doing. I rejected Christians because they didn’t understand that when it came to love, romance, desires and dreams … being gay seemed like my only option and hope. I was cool with that and lived “out” and in the open as a gay man. Christians didn’t quite get the fact that when no one else was around, it was the gay community who gave me my first real sense of identity and community. While I went through a lot of … stuff … as a gay man, I do credit a few beautiful people who do identify as gay with helping to save my life.
Later, because of my faith and some truly loving Christians, I opened my mind to question homosexuality and gay liberal ideology. My first question was, “Why is it accepted as almost a natural law that anyone who struggles with homosexuality absolutely must identify as gay?” Genesis says that God made “male and female, in His Image He made them.” It does not say He created straight, GLBTQI and whatever else.
Why is that?
So, my new friend “Happy Lesbian,” it’s only when I opened my mind to question homosexuality and identity that I got a better picture of what true “open mindedness” really looked like. After doing so, I found better answers that fit what I believe and want out of life. I decided to move on. I hear and consider what others have proposed to explain where I am wrong but none have convinced me to change course. I am very glad and content to have pursued this life in Christ.
The hate needs to stop, the judgements need to stop. Gay people dont judge straight people because they are straight. We are excepting and love many people… maybe you all need to learn a lesson from the gay and lesbians!!!!!!!!!!!!! God bless you and I will pray for your souls!
Where there is genuine hate, yes, that needs to stop. When it comes to judgment … good luck. As you have proven in your judgment filled comment, it comes quite naturally to us all. While we are seemingly hypersensitive to see it being expressed by others (real or perceived) we seem to be blind to our own propensity to judge.
“Accepting and love many people”? even for Christians on a post-gay journey? From my own experience in the gay community and now on my post-gay journey, I don’t think gay identified people are any better at not being judgmental. I get judged and cursed every single day by people who identify as gay who track me down to do so. When I was gay I also knew several people, including myself, who were merciless in our judgments of others … especially Christians. Not complaining, just saying that gay identified folks aren’t some idealized victim class incapable of being hateful. Bigotry, hatred and hypocrisy aren’t religious conditions … they are human ones that we are all susceptible to regardless of our identity or worldview.
We are all human, we are all worth dignity and respect. In both our falleness and greatness we are so much more alike than any of us actually realize.
That’s why Jesus didn’t come to just save the straight world or the gay world. He came to save the whole world. In His view there is only one world where everyone needs Him as Savior and Lord.
About Randy Thomas
Dang Randy!
Bring it!
done brought it
Dang Randy!
Bring it!
done brought it
This girl probably has encountered some hate, either a little or a lot. I don’t know. I’ve encountered a lot, and a good dose of it has been from Christians. It sounds like she does know God, and so we don’t have to worry about her too much, because the Holy Spirit will talk with her about whatever’s not OK in her life. Just like He talks to me. And you. Just ask for God to bless her, and for her to know His love in her life. Just a very simple prayer, said regularly for a person tends to sort out whatever it is the person needs. I really do pray that she is happy, and if she reads this, I’d love to chat with her, from one happy gay woman to another. Peace, C -x-
This girl probably has encountered some hate, either a little or a lot. I don’t know. I’ve encountered a lot, and a good dose of it has been from Christians. It sounds like she does know God, and so we don’t have to worry about her too much, because the Holy Spirit will talk with her about whatever’s not OK in her life. Just like He talks to me. And you. Just ask for God to bless her, and for her to know His love in her life. Just a very simple prayer, said regularly for a person tends to sort out whatever it is the person needs. I really do pray that she is happy, and if she reads this, I’d love to chat with her, from one happy gay woman to another. Peace, C -x-
Good move, Randy. I especially appreciate that you once again managed a response devoid of all the exclamation points that leave me absolutely exhausted at the end of so many diatribes from the “happy, shiny rainbow people.”
Thanks Greg! Now if I could only break my addiction to emoticons!!!
Good move, Randy. I especially appreciate that you once again managed a response devoid of all the exclamation points that leave me absolutely exhausted at the end of so many diatribes from the “happy, shiny rainbow people.”
Thanks Greg! Now if I could only break my addiction to emoticons!!!
Ah, exgays get rejections either side. When we were gay, we got rejected by some straight men and religious people; and when we start the exodus journey, we get rejected by some in the gay community.
Ah, exgays get rejections either side. When we were gay, we got rejected by some straight men and religious people; and when we start the exodus journey, we get rejected by some in the gay community.
Marvelous response!
Thanks. It is good to see you Juan.
I often read your posts and rarely comment, but this topic is one that’s been on my mind for a long time. I’ve lost more than one friend as he or she chooses a lifestyle different from my own. It’s not because I no longer wish for them in my life–quite the opposite, I miss them like crazy–but because they cannot conceive of a friendship where two people have different ideas and the open-mindedness to allow themselves to love while disagreeing.
It does sound like your blog visitor has a lot of hurt to sift through. Perhaps someday the need to lash out at those who make choices different from her own will ease. I hope so. I appreciate the equity and restraint of your responses. Truth can be spoken quietly and achieve great effect. I also appreciate the fact that you set limits on what will and will not be posted in your comments section. It maintains a welcoming, peaceful spirit here.
I am glad you chose to speak up. Your post is thoughtful and encouraging.
Marvelous response!
Thanks. It is good to see you Juan.
I often read your posts and rarely comment, but this topic is one that’s been on my mind for a long time. I’ve lost more than one friend as he or she chooses a lifestyle different from my own. It’s not because I no longer wish for them in my life–quite the opposite, I miss them like crazy–but because they cannot conceive of a friendship where two people have different ideas and the open-mindedness to allow themselves to love while disagreeing.
It does sound like your blog visitor has a lot of hurt to sift through. Perhaps someday the need to lash out at those who make choices different from her own will ease. I hope so. I appreciate the equity and restraint of your responses. Truth can be spoken quietly and achieve great effect. I also appreciate the fact that you set limits on what will and will not be posted in your comments section. It maintains a welcoming, peaceful spirit here.
I am glad you chose to speak up. Your post is thoughtful and encouraging.
Randy, I love your focus in this article and the focus of your heart and life toward authentic intimacy with our Heavenly Father. Thank you for this response full of truth and Christ’s love.
Blessings,
Hi Richard. Thank you for the godly example you are. I am praying for you and your speaking engagement coming up in May. Talked about it yesterday.
Randy, I love your focus in this article and the focus of your heart and life toward authentic intimacy with our Heavenly Father. Thank you for this response full of truth and Christ’s love.
Blessings,
Hi Richard. Thank you for the godly example you are. I am praying for you and your speaking engagement coming up in May. Talked about it yesterday.
I am very happy that my freind posted this on facebook. I feel like the Christians community as a whole has not ministered to the gay/lesbian community the way they should have. Too oftengays and lesbians are treated with fear and contempt such that Christians would even deny that they have a right to salvation and freedom from sin. God does say that gay and lesbian behaviors are sin but He also says that about Malice, gossip, comtempt, and many other day to day sins that most people engage in. Ultimately freedom from our sins comes from believing in Christ and knowing truth in you heart. Something that we will all work on our entire lives.
Blissmarie, thank you for writing in support of your friend. I too have commented in places about the church’s response to the gay community. It has not been Christlike. And it is time for the animosity to stop. We all need to stop the hate. You are so right about those sins listed along with homosexual activity. It is from brokenness, all of it. We are supposed to find healing in the holy hospital of Christ’s Body, the church. May God help us find unity in His Spirit, and share the love that He has for us with each other. No more division. We are a family. We need to start accepting all the sheep into the fold, no matter their color, sexual orientation, anger management techniques, or ability to keep the tongue from wagging. We are all in process, and we all need to “put up with each other’s faults” for “such were some of you, but you were washed”. Haleluyah! He is coming for a spotless Bride, His church. People get ready. Jesus is coming! Let’s act like it
We are on the same team. The enemy is not flesh and blood, but spirit. Satan, our adversary, is the one behind all the division and hatred. Let’s not let him influence us anymore. It’s time to walk in love. And with His help, we can do all things.
I am very happy that my freind posted this on facebook. I feel like the Christians community as a whole has not ministered to the gay/lesbian community the way they should have. Too oftengays and lesbians are treated with fear and contempt such that Christians would even deny that they have a right to salvation and freedom from sin. God does say that gay and lesbian behaviors are sin but He also says that about Malice, gossip, comtempt, and many other day to day sins that most people engage in. Ultimately freedom from our sins comes from believing in Christ and knowing truth in you heart. Something that we will all work on our entire lives.
Blissmarie, thank you for writing in support of your friend. I too have commented in places about the church’s response to the gay community. It has not been Christlike. And it is time for the animosity to stop. We all need to stop the hate. You are so right about those sins listed along with homosexual activity. It is from brokenness, all of it. We are supposed to find healing in the holy hospital of Christ’s Body, the church. May God help us find unity in His Spirit, and share the love that He has for us with each other. No more division. We are a family. We need to start accepting all the sheep into the fold, no matter their color, sexual orientation, anger management techniques, or ability to keep the tongue from wagging. We are all in process, and we all need to “put up with each other’s faults” for “such were some of you, but you were washed”. Haleluyah! He is coming for a spotless Bride, His church. People get ready. Jesus is coming! Let’s act like it
We are on the same team. The enemy is not flesh and blood, but spirit. Satan, our adversary, is the one behind all the division and hatred. Let’s not let him influence us anymore. It’s time to walk in love. And with His help, we can do all things.
I am the pastor of an SBC church plant in an urban area that has a large population of gay-identified people and I have a relative in a homosexual relationship. I have had to repent of my own attitudes toward this sin as somehow being different than any other. In the last 6 months in building relationships with my neighbors, God has given me a new perspective on those who struggle with same sex attraction and those who embrace it as well. We are currently renting our house from a gay man who is one of the nicest people I have ever met, and live next door to a gay couple who have been incredibly gracious to us while knowing full well that we are SBC church planters. I have hurt deeply and prayed fervently that God would help me to communicate His great love for all humanity to anyone and everyone. I cannot imagine the anger and prejudice that has come against those who have dealt with same sex attraction, but I know that my own path has been littered with sinful attitudes and behavior that has done more damage to the kingdom than gay marriage ever could. Thank you for your redemptive attitude not only toward those who are dealing with same sex attraction, but also those who are part of the very group that has ostracized them. My prayer is that your tribe will increase. We ALL need Jesus.
Wow. I have come across many conservatives lately who have similar stories to yours, and have come to the same conclusion. May it spread so that love can conquer all. God’s love is unconditional. So should ours be, as His representatives, His children. Appreciate your comment sir. Thanks for sharing and loving like God does!
I am the pastor of an SBC church plant in an urban area that has a large population of gay-identified people and I have a relative in a homosexual relationship. I have had to repent of my own attitudes toward this sin as somehow being different than any other. In the last 6 months in building relationships with my neighbors, God has given me a new perspective on those who struggle with same sex attraction and those who embrace it as well. We are currently renting our house from a gay man who is one of the nicest people I have ever met, and live next door to a gay couple who have been incredibly gracious to us while knowing full well that we are SBC church planters. I have hurt deeply and prayed fervently that God would help me to communicate His great love for all humanity to anyone and everyone. I cannot imagine the anger and prejudice that has come against those who have dealt with same sex attraction, but I know that my own path has been littered with sinful attitudes and behavior that has done more damage to the kingdom than gay marriage ever could. Thank you for your redemptive attitude not only toward those who are dealing with same sex attraction, but also those who are part of the very group that has ostracized them. My prayer is that your tribe will increase. We ALL need Jesus.
Wow. I have come across many conservatives lately who have similar stories to yours, and have come to the same conclusion. May it spread so that love can conquer all. God’s love is unconditional. So should ours be, as His representatives, His children. Appreciate your comment sir. Thanks for sharing and loving like God does!
I love hearing you guys speak truth so clearly and intelligently! You are one of the many trophies of grace! Blessings!
I love hearing you guys speak truth so clearly and intelligently! You are one of the many trophies of grace! Blessings!