I also wanted to apologise because my response was actually kinda confusing … I don’t always choose the best words. I just wanted to say just to clear the air with this one. I am really super encouraged with this movie coming out and as soon as I possibly can I’ll be watching the movie and bringing as many friends as I possibly can to go see it. Anyways … I am really hoping that this movie will inspire people.

What I sense is that this movie allows us to see something different then just a man in a gay relationship and a family torn apart because of homosexuality but people will see the much bigger picture … that they will see that this man is much more then a gay man who’s having to deal with consequences of his choices … I’m not going to just assume on how the man became ill or the circumstances around it but the fact remains is that here’s a man with a son and a family and regardless of who a person is the whole message of Christ is reconciliation.

And sometimes I respond from the place of my own experiences when it comes to the issue of homosexuality .. being one person who has had to struggle with this conflict between my faith and sexuality. It’s been a very difficult journey for me in the church. I had attended one church and served faithfuly for 15 years but there existed more people in that church who debated whether or not I was a Christian then those who were willing to be in relationship with me. They couldn’t see past the brokenness of my own gender .. ie. I used to identify as Transgendered and had take on masculine characteristics of behavior and appearance and so when I had been involved in the gay community this wasn’t something I had kept hidden from the church. I stayed at chruch because I wasn’t entire convinced that the direction I was taking my life was the right one. People couldn’t look past what they saw to see me, a very real person with a very real faith and having to work through some very complicated issues in my life. What would have been best is to have found support in the church but when I needed the church most the church was not there for me. I only found further rejection and isolation. When I left that particular fellowship I began a process to find a church where I could find people who would be willing and able to walk with me. I went from that church to another and the church I found was not a responably healthy church and so I felt it was best to find another church.

In the whole process of trying to find a church that was reasonably healthy, and also cultivated a safe enough environment for gays and lesbians … don’t get me wrong here, I don’t identify myself as gay or lesbian or Transgendered but rather have come to have more of a Post Gay biblical world view but that said, sometimes when I go to church people in the church want to label me as this or that and their response becomes less than beneficial for me as I journey towards wholeness in Christ. They can’t see the real person behind a real issue that is more complicated then they want to acknowledge. Some people in the church like the cookie cutter form of Christianity .. ie .. “If you can fit into this kind of Christianity then you’ll be accepted as one of us” so … if you can clean up your life and present the kind of Christianity we accept then you’ll be accepted but if you continue to struggle and face difficult issues then you won’t be accepted.

Now I have found a church fellowship that is reasonably healthy and works towards cultivated a reasonably safe environment for gays and lesbians but a church fellowship who values biblical truth but extends grace and allows for process in a persons life. One of the church’s core values is diversity and so there isn’t this stress of having to break free from the box people might try to fit me in .. eg. you don’t look like or act like what a Christian is suppose to look like or act like .. instead there is this understanding that when we begin a journey with Christ it’s a process in relationship with Jesus and it will look different from person to person because we’re all coming from different backgrounds.

The church I had been apart of and served faithfuly for 15 years still debate on whether or not I am a Christian and now in the mix of that debate there are those who believe that I have either walked away from the Christian faith, or running away from responsibility ie. church hopping .. when things become tough I run away … they neglect the fact that I stayed involved in their church for 15 years but that’s besides the point, but the last thing they believe is the fact that I am growing and maturing in Christ and instead of running away when things get tough I press through and reach out. They don’t realize is that these people made an envrionment that was holding me back from experiencing the true liberty and freedom in Christ that can be for all people. Nothing has changed in that fellowship … I am relational in my faith and if a fellowship refused to be relational with me after years of plowing through and reaching out I think it was ok for me to see about finding a fellowship more accepting of me where instead of gossipping about me and debating about my salvation perhaps being in relationship with me and getting to know me. Getting to know me is also getting to know my family and inner circle and coming to understand where I have journeyed from and where I am going.

I hope my confusing response has had clarity brought to it.