New Study: Gay People Suffer Increased Rates of PTSD

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From Study: Bullies home in on gays:

A groundbreaking new Harvard study has found that gay people are far more likely to be tormented as youngsters, often leading to years of post-traumatic stress disorder.

Researchers at Harvard School of Public Health and Children’s Hospital found that gays, bisexuals and heterosexuals who have had a same-sex partner are 1 to two times as likely to experience violence, especially in childhood, and have double the risk of experiencing PTSD as a result.

“It’s really appalling,” said lead author Andrea Roberts, a postdoctoral fellow in epidemiology at Harvard.

The researchers cite several factors behind the increased rates of victimization and PTSD, including:

Hate crimes (almost one-third of sexual minority adults in the U.S. report being victims of such a crime),

Gender non-conforming behavior in childhood, which increases risk of being bullied, and

Social isolation and discrimination.

Using data from a nationally representative sample of more than 34,000 adults, the researchers found that 45 percent of sexual minority women and 28 percent of sexual minority men had experienced violence or abuse in childhood, compared to 21 percent of women and 20 percent of men in the general population.

“I think people know there’s discrimination, but they don’t know the breadth or severity of it – or how lasting the impact is,” Roberts said.

I have a great fellowship group.  Every other Saturday we go out to dinner and have a fantastic time.  At this last one a few of us ordered Bananas Foster.  You know, that’s the dessert they set on fire to feed you.

I don’t get the need for a public display of burning banana mayhem but it sure is tasty.

The waiter was preparing the desert right behind me.  I didn’t connect the dots until afterward but every time I heard his utensils scrape the pan my anxiety started to build.  Even so, the conversation continued and I wasn’t paying attention.  Then WOOSH! the flames went up right behind me and in the split second an almost overwhelming panic took over and I defensively moved forward and away from the flame.  My fellowship group didn’t register the panic in my heart. How could they? They were all happy to see bananas on fire.  I recognized, from my past therapy, that my PTSD had been triggered.  After years of learning and understanding, now instead of sliding into the pre-counseling spiral of obtrusive visions, thoughts and despair,  it was simply a very brief moment of panic.  It was easy to regain my composure and enjoy the rest of the evening.

Now if I left it at that I am sure most people would be like, “Dude, seriously … get a spine.”  However, it isn’t that I am afraid of Bananas Foster preparation … it’s that I have Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD.)  I was diagnosed with that in 2005, yes, five years ago this summer.  I have not hidden that fact but I also haven’t been very public about it for reasons I won’t get into today.  All things in due time right?

I know there are people who have lived through a lot worse but my therapist told me not to minimize it … I lived in hell.  One of the reasons I had a moment of panic the other night was because during some of my most severe beatings I would penned down and forced to endure the pain that I couldn’t see.  However, the worst reason why you don’t want to surprise me from behind is because of what happened one night when I left a gay bar.

It was a bar in Arlington Texas.  I was there until closing.  I was running around with a DJ at the time and we were headed to Dallas for an after hours club/party.  We poured out of the club and everyone was standing around talking about who was fit to drive. Then a truckload of men pulled up with their rifles/shotguns raised and screaming homophobic slurs threatening to kill us.  Some of them started jumping out of the truck.  One of the guys from the bar took off running down the street.  Several of the men followed yelling, laughing and shooting their guns in the air.  We all scattered.  I pushed my DJ friend down in between two cars.  He couldn’t get underneath one so I just wedged my body against his as close to the car as possible.

As we listened to our friends being taunted, a few frightened screams, a lot of cussing/slurs, I closed my eyes as tight as I could and just waited for the barrel of a gun to be pressed against the back of my neck.  I’ll never forget that feeling.

Now, after years of physical abuse and this one event in particular, can you see where my psyche developed a traumatic neurologically imprinted response to perceived/real danger coming from behind?

For those that don’t like psycho-babble … because of their sin against me, my mind was seared with an inordinate and ungodly fear that caused my flesh to react before my spirit could respond.

Eventually the truck peeled out of the parking lot.  No one had been shot and many of us went on to the after party.  There was a new sobering camaraderie among us.  Common unity equals community and lot of the gay community finds cohesion through truly violent conflict they didn’t ask for.  Yes, some overplay it and it isn’t as bad today as it was in the 80′s and early ’90′s (which weren’t as bad as the ’50′s and earlier) but we also can’t deny that it did exist and pockets of violence still exist.

This isn’t the only story I could share with you.  Years ago I had a leader tell me to refrain from sharing these types of stories because it would give gay activists fodder for redefining public policy and thereby redefining society.  Unfortunately I was naive and easily talked out of it. I was also not aware of the PTSD I was living out and not understanding why I did the things that I did (like the defensive reaction at the fellowship group.)  It was easy to not share these stories because the pain was too much.

Granted, I don’t want this part of my testimony to fuel bad public policy.  I personally don’t think that route is the answer to stop bullying, abuse and violence.  At the same time, it has to be shared that while I am not a scholar or scientist to properly evaluate this study … this summarizing article does not surprise me at all.  Bullying exists, true homophobia exists. The answer is not bad public policy but the redemptive nature and loving compassionate of Christ.

But at some point, whether you agree with my Christian post-gay view of life or not, there has to be a point where we have to rise up and say no more.  Not only will I stand against bullying, intimidation and true hatred.  I am going to stop seeing myself as a perpetual victim.

One significant part of overcoming my PTSD was learning, grasping the meaning and overcoming “learned helplessness.”  Because of the overall abuse in my past I never learned to expect anything other than pain and abuse.  When it came my way I just took it because for all of my life up until I was thrown out of the house for being gay, my only option was to endure the pain.

In Christ, as a mature adult, I don’t have to do that anymore.  I can learn what the triggers are and how to cope with the obtrusive thoughts and feelings.  Now that I have been self-aware (with the Lord leading and healing direction) of these things for a while, it is much more of a fleeting issue.

But here is the point of the post: bad things happen.  Evil things happen.  In this fallen world we all have some sort of trauma but we don’t always have to be victims. In Christ I am *not* a victim any more regardless of what others say or do.  For those that don’t know Him , this is the part where I kindly exhort you to get to know Him .  But even if you aren’t quite sure about Him yet … you don’t have to be victimized in your thinking and being. Beware of those that manipulate a victim mindset and seek to capitalize on communal bonding through trauma.

At the same time, if you have had traumatic experiences, don’t minimize them and get professional help and pastoral care.  I dismissed the PTSD symptoms for years as just my own eccentricities and quirks until those quirks started to rule my life and I could no longer consciously deny them. I can’t tell you how much freedom I had yet to taste until that was uncovered and the Lord came to heal my soul and redeem these memories and experiences.

Yes, those men committed crimes against us that night.  Yes, I suffered horrific abuse, but in Christ I know what it means to rise up with my shoulders squared and chin raised.  In Christ I am a victor … not a victim.

If you see or know of someone being bullied or beaten, intervene immediately. Please also pray for the victims of violence and abuse everywhere to find earthly justice where appropriate and eternal security in the healing arms of a loving God.