From How I Went from Committed Lesbian to a Happily Married Mother of Four:
Looking at my four children racing around the garden with their father, it seems almost impossible to believe that only a few years ago I never imagined having a family.
Or rather, when I did stop to think of myself as becoming a mother, I imagined the only way I’d do so would be through an anonymous sperm donor.
Today, with five-year-old triplets, Thady, Frank and Orla, and a seven-year-old daughter, Saoirse, a husband and a home in a leafy London suburb, I could be viewed as the archehtypal wife and mother, even if – as a stand-up comedian and actress – I don’t have a conventional career.
… as I reached 22 I realised that the people I liked best were all women and in truth always had been, if only on a friendship basis.
I had studied feminist literature at university and it opened my eyes to the possibility of sexuality as a life choice.
I am convinced that while men are usually entirely driven by sex when it comes to choosing a mate, women are often attracted more by the emotional side of the relationship and I was excited by the close bond a relationship with another female could bring.
… I realise that many gay people will think it sounds absurd that I ‘chose’ lesbianism. For them, their sexuality is so innate and undeniable that the issue of ‘choice’ doesn’t come into it.
But perhaps that’s not the case for all women. For I can honestly say that I never felt the need to ‘come out’ as gay or straight – I simply decided to fall in love with women.
…
I could never in a million years have imagined, in the full throes of my lesbian life, that I would one day live such a conventional straight lifestyle.
In fact, I would have thrown up my hands in horror at the very idea. And perhaps it was no surprise that most of my lesbian friends were outraged that I had taken up with men.
It seemed a betrayal of all they and I had stood for. Diva magazine, the biggest lesbian publication in the UK, voted me Most Disappointing Lesbian Of The Year. And the criticism still continues.
There was (briefly) a Facebook group saying People Like Jackie Clune Should Be Taken Outside And Shot. Although the criticism is hurtful, I understand where it’s coming from – I’ve confused everybody.
In the gay world some people hate the way many of us believe sexuality can be fluid. The idea of bisexuality is anathema to them. They see it as a mark of indecision or even self-delusion.
Actually I have never thought of myself as bisexual. And I certainly don’t now that I am married. That would be tantamount to admitting that I am thinking of being unfaithful with a woman, which has never been the case. …
Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1289652/How-I-went-committed-lesbian-happily-married-mother-four.html#ixzz0tU1BSzpP
The article is fascinating look into an increasingly post-gay world. It was difficult not to quote the whole thing! I loved Jackie’s candor.
One little thought I’d like to share is that there is a increasingly outdated stereotype that men struggle with sexual addiction and women struggle with emotional dependency. In the broader view, we are seeing increased amounts of emotional dependency among men and sexual addiction among women. Regardless, homosexuality is a relational issue that involves so much more than simply those two possibilities. Please again, read the article, she covers a lot more ground I would love to hear what you think about it.
HAT TIP:
MORE:
Women’s resources at the Exodus Bookstore
The Heart of Female Same-Sex Attraction by Janelle Hallman
Restoring Sexual Identity by Anne Paulk
About Randy Thomas
I like Jackie. I read a piece of hers a while back when she first came out of homosexuality. It was called my crime against the lesbian state. i found the writing refreshingly candid and irreverant as well as true. Though she is not a christian, shes a wonderful example that people can change, whether haphazardly like her and anne heche, or more intentionally like others. I think shes great. Happy for her.
http://www.guardian.co.uk/stage/2003/jun/14/comedy.artsfeatures
I like Jackie. I read a piece of hers a while back when she first came out of homosexuality. It was called \my crime against the lesbian state.\ i found the writing refreshingly candid and irreverant as well as true. Though she is not a christian, shes a wonderful example that people can change, whether haphazardly like her and anne heche, or more intentionally like others. I think shes great. Happy for her.
http://www.guardian.co.uk/stage/2003/jun/14/comedy.artsfeatures
“But perhaps that’s not the case for all women. For I can honestly say that I never felt the need to ‘come out’ as gay or straight – I simply decided to fall in love with women.”
I don’t know that she “changed.” Looks like she just fell in love with a woman, and then fell in love with a man. It looks like she also recognizes that for gay people, sexuality is innate and her experience is definately not the case for all gay people. Good for her for recognizing that. And I still don’t think this is a post-gay society. In a post gay society it wouldn’t MATTER what gender you loved. You would just fall in love with people, and no one would care. There would be no need for HRC, Exodus, or any other sexuality based organization.
Actually do more digging on this blog and Peter Ould’s blog to learn more about post-gay from our perspective.
http://www.peter-ould.net/2007/04/19/you-and-me-together and http://www.peter-ould.net/2007/11/23/the-false-paradigm-that-distorts-our-discussions
Not everyone who struggles with homosexuality identifies as gay or with the gay community … and they don’t have to in order to be healthy and well adjusted. In a post-gay society people would drop the false dichotomy of gay vs. straight absolutism (being either one or the other forever) as the pivot point for their relational paradigm. Those of us on a Christian post-gay journey already live in that type of world. The GLBTQI alphabet soup of labels don’t fit and are no longer appropriate.
Exodus will still be around to help people who want to steward their sexuality in congruence with their faith. Our ministry isn’t based on some version of a “gay” identity. We don’t call ourselves “ex-gay” … we are Christians. We already live in a Christian post-gay context.
Post-gay is like post-modern , it cannot be owned and defined by one particular group for the entire world as some gay activists would like to have you believe. That’s like saying only modernists can define what post-modern means. Sure modernist thought and gay thought inform their “post” counterparts perspective but they certainly don’t define our determine all the varied manifestations of what it means to be post-modern or post-gay.
My Christian post-gay journey is much different than Jackie Clune’s seemingly secular post-gay journey. We believe in different things but both of us live out a post-gay view on sexuality and identity.
One of the reasons I accepted the job invitation to work with Alan is because he said he would love for a day when Exodus didn’t exist because the church had fully accepted responsibility for ministering to those seeking freedom from unwanted same sex attractions.
“But perhaps that’s not the case for all women. For I can honestly say that I never felt the need to ‘come out’ as gay or straight – I simply decided to fall in love with women.”
I don’t know that she “changed.” Looks like she just fell in love with a woman, and then fell in love with a man. It looks like she also recognizes that for gay people, sexuality is innate and her experience is definately not the case for all gay people. Good for her for recognizing that. And I still don’t think this is a post-gay society. In a post gay society it wouldn’t MATTER what gender you loved. You would just fall in love with people, and no one would care. There would be no need for HRC, Exodus, or any other sexuality based organization.
Actually do more digging on this blog and Peter Ould’s blog to learn more about post-gay from our perspective.
http://www.peter-ould.net/2007/04/19/you-and-me-together and http://www.peter-ould.net/2007/11/23/the-false-paradigm-that-distorts-our-discussions
Not everyone who struggles with homosexuality identifies as gay or with the gay community … and they don’t have to in order to be healthy and well adjusted. In a post-gay society people would drop the false dichotomy of gay vs. straight absolutism (being either one or the other forever) as the pivot point for their relational paradigm. Those of us on a Christian post-gay journey already live in that type of world. The GLBTQI alphabet soup of labels don’t fit and are no longer appropriate.
Exodus will still be around to help people who want to steward their sexuality in congruence with their faith. Our ministry isn’t based on some version of a “gay” identity. We don’t call ourselves “ex-gay” … we are Christians. We already live in a Christian post-gay context.
Post-gay is like post-modern , it cannot be owned and defined by one particular group for the entire world as some gay activists would like to have you believe. That’s like saying only modernists can define what post-modern means. Sure modernist thought and gay thought inform their “post” counterparts perspective but they certainly don’t define our determine all the varied manifestations of what it means to be post-modern or post-gay.
My Christian post-gay journey is much different than Jackie Clune’s seemingly secular post-gay journey. We believe in different things but both of us live out a post-gay view on sexuality and identity.
One of the reasons I accepted the job invitation to work with Alan is because he said he would love for a day when Exodus didn’t exist because the church had fully accepted responsibility for ministering to those seeking freedom from unwanted same sex attractions.
Jackie Clune never once declared herself gay or striaght (from what I gathered from her quote I posted previously). She simply fell in love. That is how I imagine post-gay and post-sexuality to be. That is also why I take issue with Exodus’ labeling of her as a former lesbian. Unless I missed where she declared herself a former lesbian (in which case, would contradict her previous statement of never labeling herself as gay or straight OR bisexual) I don’t understand why you would label her that way.
Thank you for the links, and I have looked into your perspective of post-gay. While I understand you can define post-gay as you see fit, I think until we have a society where homosexuality and bisexuality are viewed as being just as moral as heterosexuality, that post-gay just isn’t possible. In a world where the gender of someone you love didn’t matter, or where your sexuality doesn’t matter…why even bother to change. And the whole concept of “change” wouldn’t really exist either, because it wouldn’t matter in the first place who you loved. No one would say “Oh that Shawn, he’s changed and is dating a woman now.” They would simply say “Have you met Shawn’s girlfriend?” You don’t have to agree, but I hope that makes sense.
So as you see….we just disagree
The title, not Exodus, said she went “from” a committed lesbian “to” a mother of four. The article Frank linked too shows that she was considered a Lesbian icon in fact. She says in the title of the above article that she was a “committed Lesbian.” She identified as lesbian and with the lesbian community for 12 years. Now she doesn’t. Being a former lesbian is overtly implied and an accurate description.
For many people, homosexual behavior and relationships are not satisfactory and don’t fit in with our life goals. Whether it is because of moral or spiritual beliefs or like Jackie’s desire for something better than what she was experiencing … we have the right to “change” our worldview and relational paradigm if we want too.
And we have and we will.
Jackie Clune never once declared herself gay or striaght (from what I gathered from her quote I posted previously). She simply fell in love. That is how I imagine post-gay and post-sexuality to be. That is also why I take issue with Exodus’ labeling of her as a former lesbian. Unless I missed where she declared herself a former lesbian (in which case, would contradict her previous statement of never labeling herself as gay or straight OR bisexual) I don’t understand why you would label her that way.
Thank you for the links, and I have looked into your perspective of post-gay. While I understand you can define post-gay as you see fit, I think until we have a society where homosexuality and bisexuality are viewed as being just as moral as heterosexuality, that post-gay just isn’t possible. In a world where the gender of someone you love didn’t matter, or where your sexuality doesn’t matter…why even bother to change. And the whole concept of “change” wouldn’t really exist either, because it wouldn’t matter in the first place who you loved. No one would say “Oh that Shawn, he’s changed and is dating a woman now.” They would simply say “Have you met Shawn’s girlfriend?” You don’t have to agree, but I hope that makes sense.
So as you see….we just disagree
The title, not Exodus, said she went “from” a committed lesbian “to” a mother of four. The article Frank linked too shows that she was considered a Lesbian icon in fact. She says in the title of the above article that she was a “committed Lesbian.” She identified as lesbian and with the lesbian community for 12 years. Now she doesn’t. Being a former lesbian is overtly implied and an accurate description.
For many people, homosexual behavior and relationships are not satisfactory and don’t fit in with our life goals. Whether it is because of moral or spiritual beliefs or like Jackie’s desire for something better than what she was experiencing … we have the right to “change” our worldview and relational paradigm if we want too.
And we have and we will.
” For I can honestly say that I never felt the need to ‘come out’ as gay or straight – I simply decided to fall in love with women.”
How can you be former something you never labeled yourself? Being in a lesbian relationship is not the same as coming out as gay or straight, because we all know sexuality is more than a verb. And now I’m hearing she did label herself a lesbian – that’s not only contradictory of her, it’s not being honest.
She says she never came out but she was a “committed lesbian” and considered a lesbian icon. It’s not contradictory in that she didn’t feel that it was worth all that “coming out” means. “Coming out” is the false construct created as a rite of passage to help cement someone’s identity as being gay. Adam Lambert was as gay as he ever was during his run on American Idol but he didn’t “come out” like some demanded him too. And he could have not “come out” like that if he didn’t want too. In a post-gay society the “coming out” process will not be so steeped in identity politics like it is today. People will self-determine whether homosexuality will become a primary or secondary attribute and not feel pressured to make that their own identity or limit their relational possibilities because of it.
” For I can honestly say that I never felt the need to ‘come out’ as gay or straight – I simply decided to fall in love with women.”
How can you be former something you never labeled yourself? Being in a lesbian relationship is not the same as coming out as gay or straight, because we all know sexuality is more than a verb. And now I’m hearing she did label herself a lesbian – that’s not only contradictory of her, it’s not being honest.
She says she never came out but she was a “committed lesbian” and considered a lesbian icon. It’s not contradictory in that she didn’t feel that it was worth all that “coming out” means. “Coming out” is the false construct created as a rite of passage to help cement someone’s identity as being gay. Adam Lambert was as gay as he ever was during his run on American Idol but he didn’t “come out” like some demanded him too. And he could have not “come out” like that if he didn’t want too. In a post-gay society the “coming out” process will not be so steeped in identity politics like it is today. People will self-determine whether homosexuality will become a primary or secondary attribute and not feel pressured to make that their own identity or limit their relational possibilities because of it.
First of all, I spoke with many homosexuals who do not like the labels belief. They said they have a problem with it because they said it is just another way to be more acceptable in society. When people say I don’t follow labels I think that is a complete cop out. They also told me that they think bisexuality is just a myth. They said bisexuality is just another form of a person who is very, very deeply closeted, and who has a problem. Many people I spoke with observe bisexuality with more of distain because many people believe many more people get hurt in this lifestyle than in homosexuality. There is more bouncing back and forth and as a result, people become more victimized.
I don’t agree remotely having any sexual relations with the same sex. However, I do not believe the ‘no label” sexual ideology. This is just bull. I guy I know said to me, I don’t believe in sexual labels. I said, so you are bisexual? He said, I don’t believe in labels for my sexuality. He got really perturbed with me at this point. I asked him if he would ever get married? He said, I don’t think so, but I will never give up guys. He said that if he got married he would have to have men on the side. I mean, give me a break, the guy is gay plain and simple, and he is an example of a person who obviously had trouble accepting that he was homosexual. I really feel sorry for men and women who are straight unknowing that their spouse is gay, and using them for his or her own selfish reasons.
Using no labels on one’s sexuality is just way for people to say, see! everyone’s sexuality is gray. Therefore everyone is attracted to the same sex as well, and basically we are all are the same, wrong! I once asked people who were heterosexual do they feel there is a possibility that they might have a gray side to their sexuality? Immediately they were completely grossed out by the question and said to me, are you kidding? NO WAY. Not even the remotest degree they had any attraction to the same sex. To say that sexuality is synonymous with fluidity is again, just another way to get society to accept bisexuality. I agree with homosexuals who believe those who claim there are no labels on sexuality, or people refer to theirselves as bisexual are just deeper the closet. I’m not agreeing with Homosexuality in the slightest extent. However, I think that bisexuality is more of a choice than homosexuality. No, I’m not saying you are born with homosexuality. What I’m saying is when you are homosexual you basically are attracted to the same sex period. I think bisexuals are homosexual people who use people in a broader range, and this path is more of a selfish one. This is a form of going deeper into the closet by claiming to be bisexual, and/or living a life as a heterosexual male or female in order to be accepted by society. However, that life is on shaky ground, and this type of life choice is bound to fall apart because he or she isn’t being honest dealing with a dysfunctional issue. This is shoving a deeply rooted problem aside. Now, if he or she becomes born again, and gives his or her hart to the lord and repents of his or her sins, then yes it is most defiantly possible to live a strong healthy married life and having children.
I don’t understand this article on Jackie Clune because something doesn’t click:
(..) The only time I ever heard the word ‘lesbian’ was as a term of abuse towards tennis ace Martina Navratilova, and it certainly never occurred to me to desire anther woman.
Uh? What?
Then This:
(…) “I fell in love at 17 with Tim, a hugely attractive pupil at the local grammar school. It was a very intense relationship and I believed I would be with him for ever. We talked about getting married and having children. We carried on dating even when we went to separate universities – he to Cambridge and I to Kent.
Tim was incredibly bright and extremely good looking. He was my first love and we had a passionate physical relationship.
But as I reached 22 I realised that the people I liked best were all women and in truth always had been, if only on a friendship basis.
I had studied feminist literature at university and it opened my eyes to the possibility of sexuality as a life choice.”
I’m sorry this just doesn’t make sense to me. She is describing her life like a light switch. Turn this on turn this off very swiftly. I had have a tough time really comprehending her personal story:
“This may sound totally coldhearted, but I made a calculated decision to try men again.”
I think that if she is a person who gave her hart to the Lord, it’s highly possible, but I think in her case she seems still somewhat confused.
First of all, I spoke with many homosexuals who do not like the labels belief. They said they have a problem with it because they said it is just another way to be more acceptable in society. When people say I don’t follow labels I think that is a complete cop out. They also told me that they think bisexuality is just a myth. They said bisexuality is just another form of a person who is very, very deeply closeted, and who has a problem. Many people I spoke with observe bisexuality with more of distain because many people believe many more people get hurt in this lifestyle than in homosexuality. There is more bouncing back and forth and as a result, people become more victimized.
I don’t agree remotely having any sexual relations with the same sex. However, I do not believe the ‘no label” sexual ideology. This is just bull. I guy I know said to me, I don’t believe in sexual labels. I said, so you are bisexual? He said, I don’t believe in labels for my sexuality. He got really perturbed with me at this point. I asked him if he would ever get married? He said, I don’t think so, but I will never give up guys. He said that if he got married he would have to have men on the side. I mean, give me a break, the guy is gay plain and simple, and he is an example of a person who obviously had trouble accepting that he was homosexual. I really feel sorry for men and women who are straight unknowing that their spouse is gay, and using them for his or her own selfish reasons.
Using no labels on one’s sexuality is just way for people to say, see! everyone’s sexuality is gray. Therefore everyone is attracted to the same sex as well, and basically we are all are the same, wrong! I once asked people who were heterosexual do they feel there is a possibility that they might have a gray side to their sexuality? Immediately they were completely grossed out by the question and said to me, are you kidding? NO WAY. Not even the remotest degree they had any attraction to the same sex. To say that sexuality is synonymous with fluidity is again, just another way to get society to accept bisexuality. I agree with homosexuals who believe those who claim there are no labels on sexuality, or people refer to theirselves as bisexual are just deeper the closet. I’m not agreeing with Homosexuality in the slightest extent. However, I think that bisexuality is more of a choice than homosexuality. No, I’m not saying you are born with homosexuality. What I’m saying is when you are homosexual you basically are attracted to the same sex period. I think bisexuals are homosexual people who use people in a broader range, and this path is more of a selfish one. This is a form of going deeper into the closet by claiming to be bisexual, and/or living a life as a heterosexual male or female in order to be accepted by society. However, that life is on shaky ground, and this type of life choice is bound to fall apart because he or she isn’t being honest dealing with a dysfunctional issue. This is shoving a deeply rooted problem aside. Now, if he or she becomes born again, and gives his or her hart to the lord and repents of his or her sins, then yes it is most defiantly possible to live a strong healthy married life and having children.
I don’t understand this article on Jackie Clune because something doesn’t click:
(..) The only time I ever heard the word ‘lesbian’ was as a term of abuse towards tennis ace Martina Navratilova, and it certainly never occurred to me to desire anther woman.
Uh? What?
Then This:
(…) “I fell in love at 17 with Tim, a hugely attractive pupil at the local grammar school. It was a very intense relationship and I believed I would be with him for ever. We talked about getting married and having children. We carried on dating even when we went to separate universities – he to Cambridge and I to Kent.
Tim was incredibly bright and extremely good looking. He was my first love and we had a passionate physical relationship.
But as I reached 22 I realised that the people I liked best were all women and in truth always had been, if only on a friendship basis.
I had studied feminist literature at university and it opened my eyes to the possibility of sexuality as a life choice.”
I’m sorry this just doesn’t make sense to me. She is describing her life like a light switch. Turn this on turn this off very swiftly. I had have a tough time really comprehending her personal story:
“This may sound totally coldhearted, but I made a calculated decision to try men again.”
I think that if she is a person who gave her hart to the Lord, it’s highly possible, but I think in her case she seems still somewhat confused.
Hmmm, would it help people’s minds about this article if I said the Daily Mail is a more right wing paper, often with several pages in one edition dedicated to articles on asylum seekers and Gypsies (a racial minority group) who are rapists and murderers – hence hoping the population will call for a cull in the numbers of these groups etc? I’m not exagerating. It often carries homophobic articles and other articles written to induce panic in the population towards poor people, and create a general climate of fear.
The fact that this article is in the ‘Femail’ section is just a damning endictment in my mind. ‘Femail’ is promoting the boring, middle of the road, middle class housewife image. ‘Hooray, this spikey-haired lesbian has gone back to men and grown her hair and had lots of children’, is all this screams to me.
The fact that she says she chose to be gay, that’s going to sit very well in the eyes and minds of Daily Mail readers.
The fact that she went back to men, hmmm, worst case scenario, it’s going to back up rape of gay women to make them straight. Best case scenario, it backs up men pestering gay women, sure that they can change them. Like one of the comments said, she found the ‘right man’. Most gay women will never find the right man, because there is no right man. For me, there is no right man, and I’m relieved.
I also have a problem with Exodus and others saying that all female-female relationships are based on emotional dependency. The three times I’ve fallen in love with women, it was love, not dependency on any level. The rest of the time, it was just lust. When I admire a woman for her abilities, it is admiring her for her abilities, not ‘what can I get out of this’ or ‘she can fix my life’. I’ve never wanted to spend all my time with one person, female or male.
And I don’t believe we’re living in a post-gay world at all. I believe in the UK, things have gone backwards in many ways. My sexual orientation has been brought up in the workplace as a weapon against me, a close friend accused me of sexually assaulting her and then went to hug me and she saw no issue in our friendship continuing cos she didn’t see anything wrong in accusing me of that, a friend of many years fell in love with a homophobic guy and married him and thus ‘fell out of love’ with me, I was forced out of church 3 years ago because of my sexual orientation, I get called names in the street…
Hmmm, would it help people’s minds about this article if I said the Daily Mail is a more right wing paper, often with several pages in one edition dedicated to articles on asylum seekers and Gypsies (a racial minority group) who are rapists and murderers – hence hoping the population will call for a cull in the numbers of these groups etc? I’m not exagerating. It often carries homophobic articles and other articles written to induce panic in the population towards poor people, and create a general climate of fear.
The fact that this article is in the ‘Femail’ section is just a damning endictment in my mind. ‘Femail’ is promoting the boring, middle of the road, middle class housewife image. ‘Hooray, this spikey-haired lesbian has gone back to men and grown her hair and had lots of children’, is all this screams to me.
The fact that she says she chose to be gay, that’s going to sit very well in the eyes and minds of Daily Mail readers.
The fact that she went back to men, hmmm, worst case scenario, it’s going to back up rape of gay women to make them straight. Best case scenario, it backs up men pestering gay women, sure that they can change them. Like one of the comments said, she found the ‘right man’. Most gay women will never find the right man, because there is no right man. For me, there is no right man, and I’m relieved.
I also have a problem with Exodus and others saying that all female-female relationships are based on emotional dependency. The three times I’ve fallen in love with women, it was love, not dependency on any level. The rest of the time, it was just lust. When I admire a woman for her abilities, it is admiring her for her abilities, not ‘what can I get out of this’ or ‘she can fix my life’. I’ve never wanted to spend all my time with one person, female or male.
And I don’t believe we’re living in a post-gay world at all. I believe in the UK, things have gone backwards in many ways. My sexual orientation has been brought up in the workplace as a weapon against me, a close friend accused me of sexually assaulting her and then went to hug me and she saw no issue in our friendship continuing cos she didn’t see anything wrong in accusing me of that, a friend of many years fell in love with a homophobic guy and married him and thus ‘fell out of love’ with me, I was forced out of church 3 years ago because of my sexual orientation, I get called names in the street…
Hi Catherine! That is really interesting. Thank you for clarifying that newspaper, and this article that I find to be confusing. What you indicated makes a lot of sense because this woman doesn’t seem to have a spiritual relationship with Jesus. It’s all about that she transforms into this image of what a woman should be? She just changes by the snap of her fingers? I agree with you, it sounds like someone’s personal agenda is being made not about a woman whose life was transformed through Jesus.
Also, I understand the over generalizations. I was asked recently by a man who is a Christian, who never dealt with homosexuality in his life, if I was like an alcoholic? I said uh? what? He said well being gay is equivalent to being addicted to alcohol. He says, what is it like to be in desperate need to have sex with men? I was horrified by his question and I was thinking, I’m getting tired of people saying things they no nothing about, and acting like they do. Many have never personally experienced being gay, so I think people should be careful before they make assumptions about others individual lives. I always wanted to share my life with a man in a deeply, committed, loving, relationship, and someone to grow old with. That was my dream. So I understand what you are saying. There are these generalizations on all gay and all lesbian people. Yes, there are many gay men who literally have hundreds of partners. However, there are many gay men who just want to come home to a man who love them and support them as equals. I never ever wanted a life having casual affairs with many different men, never. Catherine? You’re awesome!
Hi Catherine! That is really interesting. Thank you for clarifying that newspaper, and this article that I find to be confusing. What you indicated makes a lot of sense because this woman doesn’t seem to have a spiritual relationship with Jesus. It’s all about that she transforms into this image of what a woman should be? She just changes by the snap of her fingers? I agree with you, it sounds like someone’s personal agenda is being made not about a woman whose life was transformed through Jesus.
Also, I understand the over generalizations. I was asked recently by a man who is a Christian, who never dealt with homosexuality in his life, if I was like an alcoholic? I said uh? what? He said well being gay is equivalent to being addicted to alcohol. He says, what is it like to be in desperate need to have sex with men? I was horrified by his question and I was thinking, I’m getting tired of people saying things they no nothing about, and acting like they do. Many have never personally experienced being gay, so I think people should be careful before they make assumptions about others individual lives. I always wanted to share my life with a man in a deeply, committed, loving, relationship, and someone to grow old with. That was my dream. So I understand what you are saying. There are these generalizations on all gay and all lesbian people. Yes, there are many gay men who literally have hundreds of partners. However, there are many gay men who just want to come home to a man who love them and support them as equals. I never ever wanted a life having casual affairs with many different men, never. Catherine? You’re awesome!
Brother! I don’t think I have the energy to try to articulate in a way that could be remotely understood what my own past-life experiences were like. I do believe women’s same-sex attractions are way more complex than men’s, but many folks would want to send me to the wood shed for making such a statement. Lust? Been there. Addictiveness? Big time. Emotional dependency? Oh yeah. Thought it was love, but realized later it was counterfeit and destructive to my very soul. It’s a mixed bag for many who struggle.
For the record, the Daily Mail article is just the most recent in a long succession of proving-nothings. Your experience, my experience. Which is the way it is? And how on earth does anyone ever measure or make sense of it? The literature tends to shy away from women’s issues. Most of it is geared toward men. Can you see why?
This is more of a catch-all observation, so I am not attaching it to any one comment here.
Brother! I don’t think I have the energy to try to articulate in a way that could be remotely understood what my own past-life experiences were like. I do believe women’s same-sex attractions are way more complex than men’s, but many folks would want to send me to the wood shed for making such a statement. Lust? Been there. Addictiveness? Big time. Emotional dependency? Oh yeah. Thought it was love, but realized later it was counterfeit and destructive to my very soul. It’s a mixed bag for many who struggle.
For the record, the Daily Mail article is just the most recent in a long succession of proving-nothings. Your experience, my experience. Which is the way it is? And how on earth does anyone ever measure or make sense of it? The literature tends to shy away from women’s issues. Most of it is geared toward men. Can you see why?
This is more of a catch-all observation, so I am not attaching it to any one comment here.
-I realise that many gay people will think it sounds absurd that I ‘chose’ lesbianism.-
I thought she said it right here
-I realise that many gay people will think it sounds absurd that I ‘chose’ lesbianism.-
I thought she said it right here