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It Is Well With My Soul – Real Voices for January 2012

January 17, 2012 by Exodus International

It Is Well With My Soul by Richard Morton

Growing up as the son of a preacher, I faithfully attended church services. During my teenage years I realized that I struggled with same-sex attractions, but sadly the only time that homosexuality was mentioned at my church, it was always referenced as an abomination. At the end of many sermons, an altar call was given for those wanting prayer. Ironically, the hymn Just As I Am was often sung (all 37 verses), but I didn’t feel like there was a place for me. As a result, I told no one about my struggle and grew hopeless about finding help.

Out of desperation, in my senior year of high school I began seeing a Christian counselor without my parent’s knowledge. Unfortunately, the counselor knew my dad and ended up calling him and telling him about my struggle with same-sex attractions. That was not helpful.

I began living a double life, actively involved in church activities while dating men around town. In the early 90′s my job was transferred to Atlanta. I didn’t know anyone there. Alone, I realized I was at a crossroad; I could choose to live openly as a homosexual or choose to follow Christ and find help. In the 80’s I had heard about Exodus International while listening to a Moody Broadcast in which Frank Worthen was being interviewed. So I sought out and found an Exodus ministry – actually traveling 100 mile each way to attend the weekly meetings. The ministry was an invaluable resource in helping me on my journey towards holiness. [Read more...]

Tagged with Child, Church, Faith, Family, God, Heart, Help, Homosexuality, Hope, Journey, Men, Ministry, Relationship, Sexuality, Struggle

Darkening Our Minds: Porn’s Impact from a Biblical Perspective

January 11, 2012 by Exodus International

Joe Dallas writes on his blog today:

Jesus said the eye is the lamp of the body (Matthew 6:22-23). If a person’s eye is perpetually exposed to darkness, there comes an inevitable distortion in that person’s thinking. It is in this darkening of the mind that pornography makes its leap from an act that is morally repugnant to one that has frightening consequences. “Evil communications corrupt good manners” (1 Corinthians 15:33), Paul warned, and the impact on the mind of a Christian consistently exposed to the wrong types of communication is immeasurable.

Like any drug, pornography’s effects vary according to the general health of the individual who uses it. In other words, while a person will be adversely affected by using an illegal drug, the specific effect will probably vary from person to person. A person already predisposed toward violence may well become more violent when intoxicated; a person more inclined to depression may find himself acutely suicidal when under the influence. Similarly, not every porn user becomes a rapist or sexual deviant, but there can be no question of its adverse effects on the user’s thinking.

I can testify to this first hand, both as a former user of pornography and as a counselor. Having discovered the “dark magic,” I found myself increasingly withdrawn from genuine interpersonal relationships and more isolated, defensive, and detached. Accustomed to the false world of phantom relations, I found real relations less and less tolerable. In the shadowlands of pornographic imagery, people existed for my pleasure, and I existed to rule and indulge. In short, I had adopted a mindset so far away from the mind of Christ that I decided to usurp His authority for my own, thus completing the darkening of my mind.

C. S. Lewis alluded to this self-idolatry when he described the world of sexual fantasy as being “a harem of imaginary brides. And this harem, once admitted, works against a man ever getting out and really uniting with a real woman. For the harem is always accessible, always subservient, calls for no sacrifices or adjustments, and can be endowed with erotic and psychological attributes which no real woman can rival. In the end, they become merely the medium through which he increasingly adores himself.”

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Tagged with Bible, Depression, Jesus, Joe Dallas, Men, Pornography, Relationship, Sacrifice, Sin

Embracing the Messy – Letter From Alan Chambers for January 2012

January 10, 2012 by Exodus International

I had a dream last night that my wife, Leslie, and I were in a Life Group at church and a gay couple joined. The two men were friends of mine from 20 years ago and had since adopted children. They obviously knew me, how my story had evolved, and joined the group anyway. During the group one of the members awkwardly blurted out, “Alan, tell the group about your ministry.” I knew what the man was trying to do. He was reacting in a way that most evangelicals often do. We see a sinner and right away jump into “convert” mode with no thought of getting to know them or simply relating over common interests. Our default is to share our biblical conviction and immediately try to win them. We allow our performance-oriented Christianity to impact the way we interact with unbelievers. We approach them as projects to be managed and conquered instead of as people to be in relationship with. We are uncomfortable with what appears to be messy and challenging and want to put it in some religious order as soon as possible. We are ready for people modify their behavior before we have even introduced them to the One who died to change more than that behavior.

The question I ask myself a lot these days is, “What would Jesus do?” followed by, “What would He have me do?” They are not always one in the same. The fact is we are not Jesus. We have no power to heal or change anyone. We can point to His life and ministry through the Bible and our own experiences, but we aren’t Him. We are His representatives. Sometimes I think we are actually guilty of trying to be Him, or at least the Holy Spirit. It isn’t our job to bring conviction or judge. We fail to trust the Holy Spirit to do His job well when we attempt to usurp that role. So, in the context of a situation like the one in my dream, what are we to do?

Let me finish telling you my dream. When asked, I honestly cannot remember what I shared about my ministry. That wasn’t the point of the dream. I remember being uncomfortable with the direction of the “evangelism” and yet unwilling to be dishonest about my story. The group ended with all of us talking and planning for the next group. I made a point to talk with the gay couple and eagerly introduced our children to one another. I was thrilled they were there and encouraged them to come back. It wasn’t a dream about church leadership or ethics or anything like that. It was a dream about unlikely people deciding to join an unlikely church. I woke up inspired. [Read more...]

Tagged with Alan Chambers, Christianity, Church, Encourage, Friends, Gay, Holy Spirit, Jesus, Life, Ministry, Relationship

Adopted Into the Family – Letter from Alan Chambers for December 2011

December 13, 2011 by Exodus International

We have been talking a lot about adoption this month at the Chambers house. As most of you know, Leslie and I adopted our kids at birth. Because Isaac and Molly are just 4 1/2 months apart we have always had to answer questions of passers-by who would inquire, “Oh, are they twins?” To which we always replied, “We adopted them both at birth, 4 and a 1/2 months apart.”

About 3 years ago, we heard Isaac introduce himself and Molly to another little boy on the playground. He said, “I’m Isaac. This is my sister Molly. Both adopted, 4 and a 1/2 months apart.” It was just part of his story. His reality. No big deal. Fast forward to today. Some of our favorite family movies are those involving adoption. We didn’t intentionally introduce these movies, they just happened to become ones we love. Movies like Meet the Robinsons, Annie, Madeline, Matilda and others in which the main characters are at some point orphans. Leslie and I have made reference to this and talked about the striking parallels to adoption in relationship to God adopting us.

Last week we finished watching one of those movies and Isaac said, “Dad, do kids cost money?” I said, “Well, it costs money to adopt, or to pay a hospital to have a baby there. And, it costs money to raise kids.” Molly chimed in, “Dad, where did you buy us?” I responded, “I bought you from some really nice people who wanted us to be your mommy and daddy.” Isaac’s last word was, “Dad, I am so glad you adopted us.” Molly’s, “Me, too.” My heart leapt for joy. I’m sure we will have many more conversations with them and go a lot deeper into areas that might cause them some heartache. But, for now, at 6 years old, they’ve got some pretty amazing wisdom on the subject and are headed in the right, God-focused, direction.

Since birth, people have remarked how much Isaac looks like me and how much Molly looks like Leslie. In reality, they don’t look like us in the ways that we look like our biological siblings or parents. And yet, they do favor us. People don’t walk up and say, “They must be adopted.” Why? Because they have grown to be like us. Our kids talk like we do, respond like Leslie and I respond. They gesture like we do and move similarly. It’s more than behavior, too. My dad was adopted and his family always said that he was more of a Chambers than all of the other Chambers. I have often thought the same thing about Isaac. He is so much like me that it’s scary. (Although, he has a love for sports that I absolutely don’t possess.) Molly has a heart to serve people that is identical to Leslie’s. [Read more...]

Tagged with Alan Chambers, Child, Christmas, Conversations, Family, God, Grace, Heart, Heavenly Father, Joy, Love, Relationship

A Letter from Alan Chambers

August 15, 2011 by Exodus International

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A Lesson From Sesame Street

August 15, 2011 by Exodus International

Jeff Buchanan discusses an important lesson we can learn from the recent petition demanding the marriage of two Sesame Street characters, Bert & Ernie. The article appears in Charisma Magazine Online.

Just when you think things couldn’t get more bizarre, they have. This past week a petition was launched calling for the marriage of two iconic characters from Sesame Street, Bert and Ernie. The petition asks that the marriage be executed in a “tasteful” way in order to “Let us teach tolerance of those that are different.”

The petition was filed on the activist site Change.org that has become the equivalent of a national blacklist registry of individuals and organizations who hold to a conservative view on marriage and sexuality. While the site has had some success in intimidating organizations such as Apple and most recently Starbucks to comply with their demands, Sesame Street held strong and stated that Bert and Ernie are best friends and as puppets, they do not have a sexual orientation.

My question is how far will this go? A recent Op-ed in the New York Times called for the legalization of polygamy between loving and consenting adults. Will we see a petition launched for the marriage of Kermit, Miss Piggy and the Cookie Monster to teach that love between consenting individuals, no matter how many, is acceptable and should be celebrated? Of course, this is an extreme situation. But is it?

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Tagged with Charisma, Culture, Entertainment, Exodus In the News, Homosexuality, Jeff Buchanan

World Magazine Interviews Alan Chambers on Willow Creek Split with Exodus

July 29, 2011 by Exodus International

World Magazine covered the recent story of Willow Creek’s split with Exodus. Alan Chambers was interviewed for his response.

Willow Creek Community Church has ended a decades-long partnership with Exodus International, the world’slargest ministry that addresses homosexuality in the church. The South Barrington, Ill., megachurch’s decision to split with the organization is one of a number of recent public separations from Christian organizations that promote a biblical perspective on same-sex relationships.

Though Willow Creek made the decision in 2009, it wasn’t made public until June.

Alan Chambers, president of Exodus, said he believes the separation occurred because Willow Creek gave in to pressure from gay activists. In recent years, Soulforce, whose mission is to persuade Christian organizations to accept homosexuality, had targeted Willow Creek.

“Willow Creek is a strong church,” Chambers pointed out, but he is nonetheless “deeply saddened to see that Willow Creek isn’t going to offer strong discipleship for people struggling with same-sex attractions.”

In a statement obtained by The Christian Post, Scott Vaudrey, Willow Creek’s director of pastoral care and leader of its elder response team, said, “It is true that Willow Creek discontinued its formal relationship with Exodus. In making this move, we were not making a social or political statement. We were simply in a season of reviewing and clarifying some of our affiliations with outside organizations.”

Exodus and Willow Creek’s relationship began in the late 1980s, with the megachurch being one of the first and largest churches to officially sign on with the organization. The relationship began as an informal partnership but became more formal when Willow Creek joined the Exodus Church Association.

Exodus helped Willow Creek leaders work with people experiencing same-sex attraction and would often refer people to Willow Creek’s ministries. Chambers spoke at the megachurch and attended several conferences there as well. He said that while the relationship had been positive, he believes Willow Creek eventually began to “rethink how they were being viewed.”

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Tagged with Alan Chambers, Christianity, Church, Exodus In the News, Gay Activism, Homosexuality, Interviews, New Zealand

ABC News Interviews Alan Chambers

July 15, 2011 by Exodus International

Recent controversy surrounding Marcus Bachmann’s clinic practices has sparked new debate on the topic of reparative therapy. Brian Ross of ABC News interviews Alan Chambers to ask him why he decided to leave homosexuality. Click here for the interview.

Tagged with Alan Chambers, Exodus In the News, Exodus International, Homosexuality, Media Mentions, Sexual Orientation

Exodus Responds to Driscoll’s Facebook Comment

July 15, 2011 by Exodus International

This week Pastor Mark Driscoll of Mars Hill Church in Seattle, WA asked his fans on his Facebook page to share stories about the most effeminate worship leader they’ve ever witnessed. The Christian Post covered the story and interviewed Jeff Buchanan for the Exodus perspective:

Exodus International, a worldwide ministry aimed at helping those struggling with homosexuality, says a recentFacebook comment by megachurch Pastor Mark Driscoll fuels the perception of many that Christians are homophobic.

Driscoll is the founding pastor of Seattle-based Mars Hill Church and often posts his thoughts on the cultural news of the day through the use of social media.

In a Facebook post on his page from this week that was later removed, Driscoll asked, “So, what story do you have about the most effeminate anatomically male worship leader you’ve ever personally witnessed?”

Jeff Buchanan, who is the executive vice president of Exodus International, said he is disappointed in Driscoll’s behavior. He said his organization was “greatly concerned about what Driscoll might unintentionally communicate to those who are struggling with unwanted same-sex attractions.”

“Having been a worship leader for a number of years and a man who has left homosexuality, his comment was personal for me,” Buchanan said. “As a leader and a follower of Christ, I believe an apology is appropriate and necessary. It is comments such as this that feed the cultural perception of homophobia in the evangelical community.”

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Tagged with Exodus In the News, Exodus International, Homosexuality, Identity, Interviews

Freedom from a Secret: Jason Thompson’s Story

January 25, 2010 by Exodus International

For years, I tried to hide my growing emotional insecurity and my secret attraction to men. I knew I couldn’t tell anyone, until a ray of hope poured into my world.

I was 14 and sat alone in my grandparents’ house with a Bible in my lap. Since my father was an Episcopal minister and I was raised in a Christian home, I was familiar with many Bible stories, but that day I desperately needed to know what God had to say about homosexuality. It was clear from His word that God considered homosexuality a sin. This made me more confused than ever.

Not long before, I had had a dream that I was involved in homosexual behavior. I woke up scared and confused. After that, I recognized a growing strong desire to be physically close to my male peers. I felt there was something very wrong with me. I had not asked for these feelings, but as time passed, they only seemed to intensify.

I didn’t know where these desires were coming from, and I knew I didn’t want them. And I also knew I had to keep this part of me a secret. I prayed earnestly for God to take the desires away, but unfortunately, they didn’t go away. “Why doesn’t He answer my prayers?” I questioned. And I wondered if God really even cared. [Read more...]

Tagged with Testimonies